Bittersweet Memories

[Bebekat]

Tomorrow is my son’s birthday. He will be 21 years old. We will not celebrate tomorrow because he is away at college. This makes me sad. But something else has been bothering me and I haven’t been able to put my finger on it. Today is a bridal shower. Not just any bridal shower but one for my soon to be daughter-in-law, the daughter we never had.

I am running around trying to get things ready because while we women folk are at the shower, the men folk are coming over here to hang out. I just need to finish cooking some food and then get myself ready to go. Something nagging…and then it dawns on me. It was 21 years ago that Tom and I had our famous 1st annual Poker Party and get together. Little did we know that it was our last because people grow older and get on with their everyday lives? I remember cleaning until the house was sparkling. I was the official DJ. That was when you still played albums on a turntable. It was great fun and after everyone left I started having labor pains. Not frequent enough to alarm Tom, I cleaned up and we went to bed. I didn’t get much sleep but when the pains got more frequent around 7 am I woke Tom. I called my folks and had them meet us at the hospital so that someone could watch our other son. The Doctors told me the baby was breech and I would need a c-section. Tom was wonderful and went into the delivery room with me to hold my hand. We were so happy when they brought our son to us.

So here is another first, his first birthday without his Dad. Tom would be so proud of his boys. It just hurts so much to know that he won’t be here in person this afternoon to sit with the guys, to watch sports and eat. I need to stop now and start putting on my happy face. I can’t rain on their joy.

I will always love you Tom, my husband, my friend.

[Guest Guest_vivian_*]

I can empathize with you. Though I'm grateful Rick was still here for 2 milestones (my daughter's 21st birthday and my son's getting his driving license) my mind always drifts to future milestones..the ones he'll miss.

Its odd this feeling of joy, mixed with sadness. Tonight I was invited out by friends but chose to stay home. I'm trying hard to go on, to carry on traditions, but I think there will always exist that void.

Still so unbelievable.

I miss Rick so very much.

[WaltC]

Tomorrow is my son’s birthday. He will be 21 years old. We will not celebrate tomorrow because he is away at college.

... It was 21 years ago that Tom and I had our famous 1st annual Poker Party and get together. Little did we know that it was our last because people grow older and get on with their everyday lives? I remember cleaning until the house was sparkling. I was the official DJ.

Bebekat - Happy Birthday to your son. I'm sorry that he can't be with you to share this day of mixed emotions. But try, if you can, to remember all the good birthdays that you've celebrated with him and Tom.

The 80's were definitely better times. I wonder if this is one of the songs that you played for that Poker Party - Sea of Love

Money for Nothing by Dire Straits got a lot of play time in our house.

Peace to you today Bebekat - I hope your day is a good one.

Edited March 26, 2006 by WaltC

[Bebekat]

Thanks Walt!! Once again, you have brought a smile to my face. That's one of my favorite songs! It actually turned out to be a better day than I anticipated.