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3rd Birthday W/o My Mum


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I just had my 3rd Birthday w/o my Mum here and while this newer reality will never be ideal ( not that the old one was, either ), I'm happy to say that there's definitively been progress made. There were no tears this year ( a first! ), but only a milder longing every now and then that didn't really interrupt my day too much and this was despite ending up having rather a lousy day due to other matters. I was kind of down because things just didn't want to go right through most of the day, and yet this didn't send me into a tailspin whenever I'd think of how my Mum wasn't here....even with the pretty direct trigger of having one friend seemingly forget all about sending a card or ecard, which served to remind me that I wouldn't be getting one from my Mum, either, for the 3rd time since she's been gone.

Instead, I spent more time being very grateful for the cards, gifts and wishes I DID get from others and for their presence in my life. This is a marked difference from even last year, when it was still hitting me pretty hard and that despite getting even more acknowledgements than I did this year. It was just so nice to know that there are still a few choice people in my life who are still making a point of remembering this is a day that was so hard for me to bear in the last 2 years, and who took meaningful action to try and soften that recurring 'blow'. Mind you, next year might be much harder since it'll be a major milestone in age :excl::blink: and depending on how things transpire up until then, there may not be as many around to help me through it as I'd like. But in thinking ahead to that time, it just made me more grateful for what is NOW.....and boy, 1 and 2 years ago, I never thought I'd see the day I'd feel that way!

So this upcoming wknd, my husband and I will go out for a fabulous dinner for my Birthday IPB Image and I may even make a toast.....to myself, for having come through everything I have in relation to my Mother's and brother's deaths and all the ensuing garbage, and finally being able to pass a milestone of a different and more satisfying nature! IPB ImageYEAH!

Edited by Maylissa
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