Young Girl Struggling...

[kyliemw]

Hi, I'm 20 years old, and am in a relationship of 1 year, I am finding out now, that I have a lot of anger problems and dishonesty about me. I don't express my feelings and I bottle all my feelings up and they come out in ways I can not imagine, I keep hurting my partner by doing so, because the way in which I react to simple situations are completely out of control.

I have a lot of emotional baggage that I've carried around with me since the age of 4. My mother passed away and my dad is an abusive alcoholic, I've lived with 5 different members of my family (aunts, uncles, grandparent), and I've never dealt with a single problem in my life. I've pushed all my feelings away for many years, and now, it's too hard to do that anymore because I have an amazing partner who talks about everything. The problem is I can't do the same. I'm searching through these sites for some sort of solution as to what I can do to control myself and learn a solution to deal with all my baggage and move on with my relationship.

I hope somebody can help me.

Edited December 4, 2006 by kyliemw

[shell]

kyliemw,

I think you have already taken the first step toward getting help....admitting you have a problem. I give you a lot of credit for that, especially at such a young age. I would suggest seeing a counselor or therapist, someone who can help you work through your past and help you to open up to your feelings. There are a lot of people who find it hard to open up and talk about their feelings. Sometimes it's because no one listened, or seemed to care, when they were growing up. So they learn to just hide everything and can't imagine anyone would care enough to want to know how they feel. I am taking a wild guess here, but from what you've said, I wonder if that isn't the case with you?

I think you are amazingly mature to know you have a problem and try to seek out help for it. The fact that you have a partner who is so open is wonderful! Good luck.

Hugs to you,

Shell

I also wanted to add that there are probably lots of books out there on this subject. On how to learn to express your feelings. You might check in that area too.

Hugs,

Shell

[Gillian]

Hi Kyliemw,

I just read your post.I think you are a very brave woman to acknowledge what is going on with you.I think you have a lot of insight too and that will really help you work through this stuff.You can do it Im sure and I think Shell is right about getting counselling or therapy.I wish you strength and good luck.

Gillian