Back To The Place Where It Happened.

[Gillian]

Hi all,

well ,today I return to the UK where all my family live.I know this will bring a flood of memories and emotions.It will also bring the family's feelings and emotions (maybe on top of me).Im a "rescuer"by nature and just want to help them too.I think Im starting to realise that I should try not to do this for a while at least.

I also made a decision to walk away from my uncle for a while.I know this will hurt both him and me and I am dreading it.

I know that after I say my piece to him that I won't be going back to that place which smells of my aunt Jenny,for who knows how long. I am afraid that he will cry because of me and he cries enough already.I am really scared and very sad that things have come so low in the family,that my uncle will be more isolated from us(although I know that to a point this is his choice).I am scared to let my anger toward the neighbour (Dior) show(ifeel she is playing a game with us and that by showing my anger and hatred for her ,I actually hate someone,its a word I never use)that she will somehow "win".I know its no game but still it bothers me.

Sometimes it all feels so overwhelming and I don't know how to cope with it.

Have to stop.

Thats all.

Gillian

[shell]

Gillian,

I know how hard it will be for you to walk away from your Uncle, but I believe you said in an earlier post that you would tell him that you would be there for him if he ever needed you. That's leaving the door open and hopefully someday he will walk through it. As far as the neighbor, she will lose in the end probably. I think your return to the UK will help. Get you some distance. Good luck and keep us posted.

Hugs,

Shell