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Our Three Angels...


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Hi I am new to the forum & wanted to share the challenges I have experienced over the past year, when I was six years old I lost my father to a massive heart attack leaving our family of two girls and one boy, my mum could not cope our lives were never the same again.

Seventeen years later the oldest of us had my Mum and Dads first grandchild a little boy, mum was the proudest grandmother I had ever known she felt this was her way of bringing back the family she lost seventeen years ago.

Then sadly fourteen months later sudden death struck again we lost him (BLAKE) my nephew his heart gave way on him he was diagnosed with a rare disorder called Williams Syndrome.

My mother could not take the loss again she started fading away and could not erase the images of her grandson laying dead in her arms once again another man in her life in her arms dead.

My mother lasted five months after the death of Blake and mysteriously fell ill, New Year’s night as I slept by her bed side in hospital she took a turn and stoped breathing she was then placed on a life support machine. We sent her to the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney the next day. My older sister and younger brother made it to Sydney the day after but she had already past on that day.

I always knew the day would come but not so soon my mother was only 47 years old I am 23 and with both my parents in my heart but out of my life is such a weird feeling, I am so scared of how it will affect me within a couple of weeks I am so scared to break down.

I know that there are a lot of people in this forum who know what I speak of I’ve been reading so many stories that sound so familiar, I treasured my mother thinking that she is all I have left in this world and I can’t go on if she were to leave me, she gave me comfort like nobody else in this world could I still feel her with me but I can feel my heart breaking slowly as this nightmare that I have been going through this month becomes reality

I know mum is where she had longed for over the seventeen years my father has been gone that gives me comfort it was the right time but really there is never a right time...

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Thanks Loris it really helps to get it all out I don’t like bringing it up to other people even my brother and sister. Every thing looks good on the outside but I don't show what's going on inside which isn’t usually like me.

I have found alot of strength though over the month strength that I didn't even know that I had, only some down days I get confused with weather it is that I have the strength to go on or I am just feeling numb I hope you understanding what I mean because it's just rolling from my thoughts.

Anyway thanks for your reply I appreciate everything I only signed yesterday myself and it feels good to release my feelings...

Thanks again...

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marion,

I'm so sorry for your losses. And at such a young age. I know what you mean about whether you are being strong or just still numb. Just from what you've written, I would say you are being strong. But there will be times when you will waver between the two, plus a lot of other emotions. Just take it slow, feel whatever you have to and get your feelings out, and hang in there. Welcome to the board.

Hugs,

Shell

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Hey Shell thanks for your support it's nice to hear from other people and to know that someone is listening. i don't get to use the net as much as i would like to, i would like to add more topics and replies.

I'm having a good week, back at work and trying to be positive for my older sister who i think is having a nervous break down for my sister is the sibling who lost her son 5 months before my mum past.

found out last week that they had put the wrong name on mum's coffin and headstone it was very upsetting but is being resolved have'nt been to visit them yet (them as in my father,nephew and mother).

Blake is buried above my father and mum is buried beside them it is lovely their.

Thanks again for every thing...

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Marion,

No need to thank me (although I appreciate it). This is what we are all here for, to help each other down the terrible road of grief. I'm glad you are having a good week. I'm so sorry for your sister. What a terrible time for you all. She is lucky to have you to give her support.

Post when you can!

Hugs,

Shell

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Marion,

Like Shell said, keep on posting and we'll be here to listen. You have a lot of emotions in you right now and they are all jumbled up. Eventually, you'll be able to sort them out and this forum is a great place to do that. We're all here for you!

Take care...Lori

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