I Lost My Friend/big Brother

[Dakota]

I lost my brother on March 19, 2004, He was 37 and has 2 kids 9 and 6 and he and I had a computer business. It took me about 2 weeks to go back to work, but I think of him daily.. It drives me nuts, the what ifs and I should have... I realy miss him. he was not sick he fell out of the back of a truck and hit his head. I guess there was nothing that could be done, I ask god why take my brother and leave the drunks here.. I don't understand... What is the deal? I just don't get it! He was loved and sometimes miss understud. I worked with him almost everyday but now that he is dead I take the time to read over his posts and I have learned so mush about him, I missed out on so much, Beleave it or not I never post on forums, but now IU have 2 of them. both were his, www.bamahome.com and www.baybimmers.com

I still hold back on the posting because I don't know many of the people on there. I am just at a bursting point today and I need to vent.

How long will this go on?

I stay up late at night, my brother did also. we used to talk most of the time at 1am than we did during the day. Some nights I stay up and hope that he will call me or give me a sign that I am doing the right thing by him and his kids. We have a close family but my borther and I were the only PC friendly ones in my family. I miss that, I have noone to talk to about computer stuff now, my other brother and I talk about some stuff but he has no idea about a computer. so we talk about other stuff.

I guess I will stop typing now.

Thanks for listening

[Penny]

Hi Dakota. I am so sorry about your brother. It really does hurt....I know. My only sibling..my brother Tommy (age 48) died on April 15....less than 3 weeks ago. We lost our Mom just 6 months ago.

So much pain....no relief yet.

Hopefully someday soon we will both find peace. Take care.

[Dakota]

sorry to hear about your brother and mom, I don't know how I would take loosing my mom.

I am doing a lot better, the way I have gotten through this is to take time everyday to say" thanks bro for all you showed/taught me and how can I be better and make you proud" I feel that I need to be there for his wife and kids so I try. The sad part for me is that I have learned more about him after he passed and I wish I had known before. 1 thing I have learned is take the time to learn the friends/family you have around you so later you don't say "I wish I knew" there are a lot of good folks around us today and we should learn and get involved as much as you can.