A Gift On Mother's Day

[Maylissa]

I woke up this morning missing my girl so terribly I could barely stand it again. I've been SO stupidly busy of late, preparing for an immanent trip, and just yesterday was putting away irreplaceable, precious valuables in safer places for my time away, most of which have to do with my kidlets. I'd also just had a horribly upsetting exchange with a woman I know, about her laughing over dog meat being served in the Chinese diet (oh yes, she's been written off my list of people to have contact with!) - it was disgusting and another painful reminder of how so many people just don't 'get' it. That was part of why I felt so out-of-sorts when I got up, as if more parts of my girl (and guy) were missing and no one would ever really understand or care.

And then I remembered it was also Mother's Day today, and that, typically I can expect no acknowledgments, no gifts, no nothing. It's been this way for the last 2 years, effectively 'stomping out of existence' the fact that I WAS a Mother for almost 20 years, and belying the fact that I will always BE one, damn it! I'd hinted this year about a particular T-shirt for sale, a grey one, with a pink heart that says, "World's Best Cat Mom"...but it's looking like I'll have to order it myself, FOR myself. Well....all this just adds another layer of sorrow, emptiness and frustration, among many other feelings, of course.

So with the heaviest of hearts, I then did what I do every morning now. I clicked on my daily reminder from the Animal Rescue Site, to give a portion of a bowl of food for homeless animals in shelters.....and my breath was taken right away!

There was MY GIRL staring right back at me! I SWEAR!! It was just like I'd found a NEW picture of her, one I hadn't known I even had!! Take a look for yourselves, here (scroll down to "Bojangles" on page 5 of Rescued Animal Stories to see the cat who was featured that day). This stunned me, as it's always been SO VERY hard to ever find pics of my Little Nis's likeness anywhere, and frankly, this one is too exact a replica for words! It's my burnish-cheeked girl! ~ dainty of paw, long of tail, slim, 'solid' sheeny-grey, amber-green of oriental-shaped eye....giving me that exact "look"!!

Then I dropped in here (first time in weeks, really) and saw Marty's Mother's Day article and, naturally, related so completely to what was expressed. It's depressing as hell, especially when you've told those around you that you'd like some of these things to be done for you on each Mother's Day, but no one responds.

But just as it often was in times past, my GIRL did, even if no one else bothered. My NISSAkins made SURE to send me her love and to honour the place I had in her life.....on Mother's Day. And so I sit, in awe of how she never seems to fail to come through to support and love me, no matter that she's not physically here. I LOVE HER, LOVE HER, LOVE HER, as I've loved no other! And so it is, and so it will always be.

My girl.....I miss you so much, each and every day....but THANK YOU for always being there for me, just as you've always been.... It's still you and me, Galski, part of this world, but not entirely "of" it. You've saved me yet again.....and I'll ALWAYS call myself your Mother.

Edited June 3, 2008 by Maylissa