Yesterday

[rainbowbridge]

Yesterday i went to see my psych. aleutia. i have been put on additional medicine for the nightmares. i still miss you. everyday i look at the spot where you were killed, yesterday i saw a ruby-throated humming bird there. i wondered if birds could carry messages. so i took a chance and sent you one. no one every talks to me on this virtual forum, they dont even send replies but i know you are there listening at least i hope you are. i was remembering the first day i brought you home. Remember, i was trying to get you to follow me on a small leash i got at the vet clinic. you were so small, as we walked down the sidewalk you couldn't stay with me because you were so tiny. i picked you up and carried you around until you were to big to carry. you were so cute it was hard to hand you over to people when they wanted to hold you, they used to say " she looks just like a little babby!" At that time our lives were sealed together forever. You were my baby border collie and i was your momma. i made a promise to myself and to you that i would do everything within my power to keep you safe and with as long as there was breath in my body. What a failure i turned out to be! Your dead. i failed you in every letter of that promise. im so sorry. the least i could do, and i failed. You were so beautiful. your hair was jet black with with one white blaze down your face and 4 beautiful white socks with the tip of your tail white as winter snow, so i named you Aleutia after the Aleutian chain islands of alaska where we lived. It was so funny when you would romp and jump trying to catch snowflakes as we walked to the lab at the university. I'll be joining you soon; i hope. I love you baby girl.