Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

My Brother Levi


Recommended Posts

Hi I just joined, I've never used one of these on-line discusion things before. Sorry if that sounds dumb. I just really feel the urge to write about my brother who passed two years ago in a car accident. He was young only 22. I was 20 when it happened. I wanted to write to someone who also knew what I was going through. I hope someone comments. It is odd to be turning 22 next week. I shouldn't be as old as Levi. I love to write his name, to say it, to hear it. He shouldn't be gone. I don't have any friends who have lost someone close to them at a young age. I am still struggling. I am not unable to go through my day. I have a 9 month old son to live for his middle name is Levi. I got pregnant with him 4 months after Levi died. He was born one week after Levi's birthday and one week before his death date ( one year later). I don't even know what to write. Nothing changes the facts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel the same. I was 20 when Iain died and him 21. My 22nd is in a few months time and this huge wave of guilt washes over me when I think about him, he was so young. I'm just at a total loss of what to say but I want you to know that you're not alone.

Kind regards, Fiona

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you so much for the responce. I see that you are from Scotland. Even though we are far apart we are able to help eachother. We are also very close in age. How did your brother die? if you don't mind me asking and if you feel like sharing. I will pray for you today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi there, I've not spoken about the night Iain died for almost a year now but bare with me...

It was February 1st 2007 and it was my best friends 20th birthday. 6 of us went out that night to a new club that had just opened up in town. There we met with a lot of my friends from work and we were having a brilliant night drinking and chatting and dancing lots. Iain was meeting a lot of my friends for the first time and I was so pleased that everyone was getting on so well. Here it gets a little hazy because we'd had more than enough to drink and because I've tried to block a lot of the night out but I thought Iain had said that he was leaving with a couple of his friends and so the rest of us carried on till the wee small hours and finally got home at some ungodly hour in the morning. When I woke I realised Iain's bed hadn't been slept in but I'd thought he was crashing at a friends house. However, during the day I just had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and kept calling my mum to see if he'd returned home. He hadn't. We waited till 9pm that night then got the police involved. The next month was the worst of my life. My friends, Iain's friends and myself and family were being constantly interviewed by the police because we just didn't know where he was. Finally, on March 18th (mother's day) we got the phone call we had been dreading. Iain's body had been found in the River Clyde where he'd fallen in after that night out. It turned out Iain had been trying to meet up with his friends at the riverboat casino but had fallen asleep at the edge of the river and had fallen in.

The guilt I carry around with me day to day cripples me, if only I had made him stay with me!! I wish so much I hadn't been drinking and that he hadnt been drinking. I wish that I hadn't persuaded everyone to go to that club.

I really hope we can help each other. You're in my thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm glad to listen. It is so hard to talk about sometimes. I think that I have put off dealing with a lot of my emotions until the last few weeks. That is why I started to write here. My brother Levi also died as a result of a drinking insident. He and my other brother Jason and Their girlfriends were having some fun just hanging out with our neighbors drinking, watching a game on tv. It got late and they all descided to drive to Levi's place where he was going to cook up some ribs. He loved to cook! He made the best food. And look at me...:-) I could care less to cook except to feed my husband. Any way...Levi let his girlfriend drive. No one thought that she had had anything to drink that night. But she did. They died...They hit a tree at 80 miles per hour. I wasn't with them that night. I was at my house. I will always remember recieving that phone call from my dad.......My brother Jason has very similar feelings as you. He wishes they hadn't let Levi's girlfriend drive...that he had been more protective of his little brother. But these are all things that can't be changed. I am so glad you are talking about it. Jason never has...I love him so much and I would never blame him. I do think seriously about drinking... There are so many dangerous situations that have come up before...this is just one more the last one for Levi and his girlfriend. Thank you for listening. I want you to know that God isn't mad at you...I hope the rest of your family expresses there love for you. I can't immagine the torcher of not knowing for so long...I was the one who really had to pull together and make plans...I've held it together for a long time. It feels hard..but good to talk about things. Thank you again

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My heart goes out to both of you. I haven't lost a brother and can't imagine the pain of losing one of them. (I have two.)

firefly...I find it miraculous that you had a son right smack dab in the middle of your brother's birthday/angelversary. My first thought when I read your post the other day is maybe Levi sent him to you? Perhaps he felt the need give your family a chance to celebrate and be happy and thankful during that dark time.

Take care,

Shauna

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My little boy's name is Clay (Clayton Levi) He is a gift from God I agree. I think it was God's reminder that He loves me, that I don't have to worry, that He is in control. It was Levi's time to go. It was the right time for Clay to be born. I wondered if he would be a constant reminder of Levi..if he would look like him etc...I am glad that he is all his own little man... :-) he has such a personality for someone so young. And yet I see glimers of Levi's eyes or smile from time to time. It is a perfect combination.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...