shauna marie Posted August 12, 2008 Report Share Posted August 12, 2008 Here is a part of an email that I sent to my brother. He was worried about me, he was worried that I was back into pills. (Long story there.) I had to send him an email assuring him that I was fine, and here's a part of the email:And when you compare this summer to last summer, I'm doing about a million times better. I was working two jobs, you were helping with the rent, and bills still weren't getting paid. I was living off of sleeping pills and fast food takeout. (For the record, haven't touched those in almosta year.) And haven't gotten takeout in about that long. (Having food delivered.) Well, for themost part. I was living on the internet, practically. I didn't read, watch tv, clean, anything.Oh, and there was the matter of two bounced checks (that I can think of right now) and the factthat I was writing checks at the pharmacy for cash two days before I was getting paid. And instead of actually working, I was actually playing online until I got caught. Oh, and I alsoDON'T do the check thing either. This summer I do a LOT of reading, watching tv, watching DVD's, going to town, and cleaningat times. Usually at least one night a week you can find me downtown reading on the church steps.I really have met grief face to face. At times, it can be like a demon. While there is a place for grief, I was letting grief be first and let it control me. I didn't deal with the feelings or anything like that.Sorry, just got off the phone with my brother. I THINK he finally understands how much better I really am doing and that I'm doing it all to the best of my ability.Shauna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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