Made It Through Mothers Day

[petitelady]

Wow, I guess so many of us had to deal with mothers day without our moms. I know I tried to ignore it but everywhere you looked there was something about mothers day. I didn't want to go out because we would see all the families celebrating. In the end we did go out and of course I had to face what I was dreading. It wasn't that bad. Part of me felt happy for them that they had each other and of course the pang of never having those moments with my mom again.

I think I had a bit of transference of feeling which may have made it easier. Earlier in the day a dog attacked one of my dogs and bit him in the rear. I think my anger diffused some of my feelings about this day. I just felt so bad that I hadn't protected him better. It should never have happened. We are in an area where many people allow their dogs to sniff around without leashes. There are no fences and there is a forest trail about 1/2 block away which is like a big dog park. Well my dogs were out on the deck and then started barking. By the time we got out there a dog was in our yard biting our dog. I was just so angry that someone would allow a mean dog to roam freely.

I guess I know I let myself think about the dog incident which helped me not think about how much I missed her. I miss her so. There are so many things that remind me she is here only to come back to reality.

[cubby]

Well, I gues we all feel that way, "I made it through the day". I had dreaded mother's day as I lost my mom 6 months ago(Nov). I had visited my mom's grave on Friday to place a new floral arrangement as I wanted it to be there on Sunday morning. I "talked" to my mom since I was alone and I think it helped some. My husband knew I had been dreading it and he made sure that he got his mom a card. I was so glad as I don't think I could have read through to find a good card for her. I just took the day peacefully and did not do anything special other than visit my mom's grave. My daughter had called to wish me "happy Mother's day" and my son had to work so it was a very quiet day. I tried to think of happier memories, but I still shed the tears. I guess it could have been worse. All I know is that at 49 years old I miss my mom and no one can take her place. I feel like a small child at times because I miss her so much.

I didn't mean to go on and on, I just wanted to say that we can breathe a sigh of relief that we made it through Mother's day! Take care every one. Thanks for providing a place to vent.

Cubby

[Vicky7784]

Yes, it seems we are all survivors of Mother's Day. I was such an emotional wreck that I couldn't bring myself to go to the cemetary. My family would have gone along and I just didn't want them to see me lose it as I stood over her grave. It was so difficult seeing all the commercials on TV for gift suggestions. I couldn't even look at a Hallmark store without tearing up. My mother loved mushy cards. She'd save them and reread them over and over. I haven't been able to go through that particular drawer yet and have to decide what to do with all those cards (my mother lived with us so I pass by her bedroom on a daily basis and it still shakes me up after 5 mos.). I kept thinking that I would never buy another Mother's Day card, unless my daughters ever marry and have kids but it's still not the same as giving your mother a card. I'm not sure what's happening to me. I was so much better in February-March. Now I feel like I'm back to the beginning with my grief. I'm doing that thing again where I think "Wait til Mom hears about that", then suddenly remember that she's gone. There will be no more chats, no more sharing of stories, no more advice giving. I'm 60 years old and I feel exactly as you do--I just want my "mommy" back. I have a great family and a wonderful husband but your mother is in a category all by herself and you're right--no one can take her place! That leaves a hole in my heart. Her birthday was in April and then it was Mother's Day so I hope for some reprieve from these kinds of triggers. My birthday is in August, however--yet another sad day but hopefully I'll feel a bit stronger by then. Thanks for sharing, Cubby.

[cubby]

I think the anticipation of mother's day as well as all the commercials just made it bad. Mother's day wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, but it was still bad. I agree that certain days trigger my emotions more than others. My mom passed away just before Thanksgiving, so our usual gathering for Thanksgiving was almost unbearable. Then there was Christmas, then my mom's birthday in January, then MY daughter's birthday in Feb., then MY birthday in March, then another holiday of Easter, and then Mother's day. My mom was involved with our family evry year on these days so it has been difficult. I'm ready for a Break in holidays, but on June 5th my parents would have celebrated 50 years. So i'm sure that will be a difficult day. My mkom will have been gone 6 months on Saturday, May 16th. It seems like only yesterday that I was holding her hand and talking with her. I've had some health issues and i really need my mom to talk to , but what am I supposed to do? Sometimes a mom is the only person you trust to give you advice and reassure you that everything will be ok. How do we get over this so that it isn't so painful?