Hey Man Where Are You?

[firefly]

I don't even know how long its been...I don't like to count...lets see 2 and a half years roughly.

Of course I'm "good" I'm fine. :-) I function well. I'm a good wife, mom, coworker. I havn't been on here for almost a year. I am very thankful that this is still here for me. It fills that immediate need to vent.

It hurts. a lot. I was on my facebook writting to my other brother who got up and moved a week after Levi died. I have only seen him one time since Levi's death. I was just writting various friends and I thought...wow it feels so much like I should just be able to facebook Levi...where are you? You should be here...You should be in my life...you should be holding my children whom you've never even met. Unless you count taking them to your grave. where is your smile? where is your laugh? where is your smell? where are your arms to hug me? where are your eyes full of grey and blue? where is your wit? where is your voise? where is your love.

Levi was only 22...I'm turning 23 in July. that sucks. You are never supposed to be older than your big bro.

[katptrsn]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I just lost my older brother on July 7, 2009. He was 49 and died suddenly and without warning from an untreated, bleeding, stomach ulcer. He simply got up and walked into his bathroom and died. He left 5 boys behind. To say that we are still in shock is an understatement.

We had been estranged for 10 years and through facebook had just started mending our relationship in Feb.

It does indeed, suck.

I wish for you peace and love.

Sue