6 Months Later, Still Grieving (long Story)

[angelsflying]

This Memorial Is Decicated To My Charlie, One Hell Of A Fighter !!

Thank you for stopping by to read his ( our ) strory :This memorial is dedicated to my Charlie kitty, who died 2-23-09

Charlie was just 2 years old when he died, and in those 2 years, I

formed a bond like a mother and child. He was my best friend,and

lil buddy. It's just been 6 months since he crossed the bridge.

Charlie was born in April 2007, a normal kitten till about 6 mos.

Then I started to notice nasal discharge, and took him to the vet.

URI was what I was told, so on antibiotics he went, no improvement.

This is when the rollercoaster started, many antibiotics, and 4

different vets we saw. Still nothing was working. My baby had

many tests, labs, inhalation treatments, cultures etc...lots of $$

Still nothing was helping.

Then in July 08, he was real lathargic, breathing fast, scared me

to death, so off to #4 vet we went, after seeing the other 3, this vet

seemed to care, was sincere about trying to find out what was wrong..

Well, seems my Charlie had anemia, from fleas...(vets 1,2,3 told me I

couldnt treat him while his immune system was down due to URI, I again,

believed them !)

So, a blood transfusion was done, along with IV fluids...he did well with

procedure..but had to go in every week for Epogin shots to help build

his blood up...he did well for a while, then his numbers dropped again, and

more blood was needed, he got a total of 3 transfusions. Things were

better with that part of his health, then we focused again on what was

with the nasal discharge... his culture came back positive for beta

strep and E-coli...so more antibiotocs and steroids now. My poor baby

has been through so much in his short little life. But I was determined to

try and find out what was wrong..all tests came back negative for feline

diseases...even my vet was stumped. Charlie had a good Christmas 08, but

after the new year, he went down hill...many vet visits again, and more

antibiotics, and in Jan 09, we found out the hard way he was allergic to

pennicillian, nearly killed him, but he pulled through then.

Then in Feb, I noticed what I thought was " difficulty breathing" so off to

vet again... My vet said lungs and heart ok, no dyspnea noted. I took him in

many more times to make sure he was not in distress, which vet said he was not.

On Feb 23, back we went to vet, and it was on this day vet said yes, resp. distress

and it was time.I left him at vets to have time with myself to make the hardest

decision of my life, I cried all day long, but by 5pm, I knew I had to go to vets

and make the decision. And it was at 5:35 pm, I let my Charlie go.

This has been the hardest time of my life, losing my cat, I feel a part of me has

died with him..he now sits in my home in his urn, with his photo and lock of hair.

I turned 50, 8-27-09...its been alittle over 6 months since he died, and my pain is still

so fresh, I miss him like a mother who lost a child, I am lost without him..he left

his paw prints all over my heart. When will the pain lessen?? My life must go on,

I have a job, husband and kids,all grown now,but I just cant seem to let go.

Why do I feel this way still, after 6 months, i just cant seem to "get over it"

I dont cry every day anymore, but sometimes when I look at his pic, or hear

his song, Josh Grobans "To where you are", the tears still fall...

My daughter had a locket made for me for my Bday, on it is "Charlie"

"Always and forever" 2-23-08, I wear it every day, to keep him close

to me..... am I crazy to feel this way about a cat? Thank you for reading our story

it does do me good to "talk" about him....God Bless

I also must add this PS...when I obtained his medical records,after his death, in it was stated that my cat was not in distress...so I will wonder the rest of my life...did I listen to his vet, and let him go for the wrong reason? I feel I can express my self here, honest and true, Im still lost without my baby, 6 mos later. My family says" I should "be over him"..I honestly feel I never will be, for this little 6 lb cat left his paw prints all over my heart and a void no other animal can ever fill. Im still grieving, after 6 mos, the pain is still very real.. so I close with this : Wait for me Charlie, we'll be together one day again !! Love you ! Thanks for listening and reading our story.. Dawn (This is Charlie Boy)

[Karen8]

Charlie is a beautiful cat! I lost my cat, Dinty, on May 3, 2009 (I had to make the same hard decision you did). So, it has been just over 4 months for me and I still cry every once in awhile. I touch his urn at least once a day and tell him I love him and miss him. Certain songs I hear make me cry too. You are not crazy and I'm sure you did the right thing. I too went through a lot of vet visits and treatments, and medication and hospital stays, etc. I have another cat, Onyx, and I love her, but the bond that Dinty and I had was amazing. Maybe it is all of the "stuff" we went through together like you and Charlie did. I have to believe that one day we will be together again with our little fur babies. I can't wait to hold him again. This is Dinty about 2 months before he died.

Take care,

Karen

[quink42]

I'm so sorry for your loss!!! Many years ago, I lost a one year old cat too, and cried for 3 months. And now, more recently, I lost my little toy poodle just 7 weeks ago, so I understand your grief over the loss of a beloved pet. But one thing besides adopting another puppy, which I did, was to STAY BUSY! An idle mind just dwells on grief, and not on joy, I've found. Go out with friends, go shopping, do whatever you have to to put other thoughts in your mind. And consider adopting a kitten......the humane societies are just full of them, and they really NEED adoption and love.....hope this helps!