Ron B. Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 December 5th, 2009 A month has passed since I lost my mother to leukemia. Now I grieve a dozen times or more each day. At times I cannot speak and hold my mouth wide open in wordless pain. Disbelief. Tears. Strange, but I welcome this grief. For me it's cathartic. Feels like I'm shedding the skin of an old self. I seem to be more open to the world, more interested in other people, more willing to engage. I look around and see the natural beauty of autumn is stunning. There is nothing debilitating about this grief, other than I sometimes get caught teary-eyed in public. My functionality is actually better. I just carefully plod through each day. I saw a psychologist/counselor, who told me that grief was "horrible". Becoming emotionally upset can be unpleasant, sure. But I told the counselor directly, that I did not think that grief was "horrible" at all. For me grief was a good thing, a vehicle for personal growth. The psychologist/counselor initially choked on my "grief is good" talk, but later seemed to like the idea. It's not that I enjoy plunging into tears. It's about the quality of memories that I have of my mother. Some memories are painful, but it's an honest kind of pain. I just let the memory and the pain wash over me. Ron B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kavish Posted December 10, 2009 Report Share Posted December 10, 2009 Hi Ron, Grieving heals our heart as it is our heart that cleanses itself and becomes stronger. I am sure you have your heart filled with all the good memories of your mom and I am proud that you cry when you are among others as well because it helps you be stronger, no matter where you are. Kavish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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