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A Week Ago My Mother Died

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My mother died less than a week ago. She was at home, which is what she wanted. I was her caregiver for 8 months. I came here from New York to be with her and to care for her. She was 86 years old and in a progressively weakenening state. In the last week, she was in a lot of pain. I was with her when she died, and the nurse told me she was gone. There was an hour of blankness as the EMS and police asked questions. Then my cousin and sister-in-law arrived with my teenaged niece and nephew. My brother arrived the next day. Then came a flurry of preparations, decisions, the work of writing the obituary, choosing photos for a memorial video, creating the ceremony, being with the sadness of her grandchildren, choosing her closes, viewing her, visitors, calls, flowers..so much activity..not a moment to reflect. I am surrounded by family members who helped with everything. Her funeral was Saturday, two days ago. Now, I am in her home alone, trying to sort out what happened. None of it seems real. Last night, I wrote out the details of her last two days. They were starting to fade, and I want to remember. I moved here to take care of her, and now that job is done. We said all there was to say to each other. She was the most extraordinary person I have ever encountered, supportive, smart, beautiful, courageous, successful, proud of her family, and my best friend. She lived a full and beautiful life, raising me and my three brothers after my father died 41 years ago and creating a new life fr herself, a life of great personal and professional achievement. She is not "gone" for me, though she is not in her room. There is no bickering among the family about anything. My friends are wonderfully understanding. I have people to talk to every day...dozens of them if I want. There are many many things to do, and I think I may take another day of doing nothing. I have had perhaps 3 or 4 days off in these 8 months. I am still trying to figure out what happened.

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