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Grandpa's Death And Everything Else...


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It has been six months, almost seven, since my grandpa died. He was the best father figure I had growing up. At the same time my dad who was an abusive guy my whole life and my mom's continued marriage with him was going through the decline into dementia from his multiple sclerosis. I had to deal with grandpa's illness and my dad's at the same time. Talking dad into committing himself to a psychiatric hospital, finding a new home for my dog that he and mom had been caring for for me, watching grandpa's health falter, etc... all summer. Now the holidays are here and I miss him so much. I feel bad for my dad in a nursing home without my mom. He is so young and was so unkind for so many years that sometimes I wonder why, but I can't help it...he's my dad and there are some good memories.

Just having a sad day.

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  • 1 month later...

It has been six months, almost seven, since my grandpa died. He was the best father figure I had growing up. At the same time my dad who was an abusive guy my whole life and my mom's continued marriage with him was going through the decline into dementia from his multiple sclerosis. I had to deal with grandpa's illness and my dad's at the same time. Talking dad into committing himself to a psychiatric hospital, finding a new home for my dog that he and mom had been caring for for me, watching grandpa's health falter, etc... all summer. Now the holidays are here and I miss him so much. I feel bad for my dad in a nursing home without my mom. He is so young and was so unkind for so many years that sometimes I wonder why, but I can't help it...he's my dad and there are some good memories.

Just having a sad day.

Wow, this post is a reminder of how scattered I was that day. I wondered why there were no replies and then I re-read it and realized that it didn't make very much sense... Anyway, my grandpa's death is the first really close loss I have dealt with in my adult life and I am really struggling with it. Life/death cycle -- why/when/how do we really get to acceptance of this? I hate not having grandpa here all the time. I have been seeing a counselor and that helps some... I've come a long way to where I can function day to day, but as I've read others saying now is when reality comes and every visit to grandma's is a reminder and new time without him. I also am really worried about the next death I'm going to have to deal with because of the reality this brings that we have to continually deal with loss of those we love in life--it is part of the process. Again, I hate it!

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