Aquarius7 Posted July 17, 2010 Report Share Posted July 17, 2010 My Mom has not been gone for even 2 months. I am still in extreme shock and am in an extremely fragile emotional state. I live in the house where my Mom and I lived for the last 36 years. Now it is just me and our wonderful dog. I was trying to do better. Was actually feeling a little better for a day or so. In other words, I did not cry for a day! But then what I knew was going to happen started happening even faster than I expected. My brother started wanting to get moving on the succession. My other brother agreed with this and my sister just went along with it. Since my brother is a lawyer, they all think he knows what is best. Well, he is an extremely non-emotional person with no sentimental value to anything at all. So for the last few days I have been getting and reading tons of emails about the "succession" (a word I hate! Along with "estate"). He is such a control freak; basically telling everyone what they "need" to do. Not a word about my Mom in all this; other than how she may not have been able to remember passwords, accounts and all that kind of nonsense which is indeed nonsense in the grand scheme of things! So now, they are pushing to get things "moving" including trying to "clean up and clear out the house", which of course translates to me having to pack up and move. This is all very "businesslike" with no mention of the history of the house, its meaning and sentiment in the family. It is only a piece of my Mom's "estate" which needs to be "put in the succession". And of course "the succession needs to take place as soon as possible." I was so FURIOUS I could have just SCREAMED! I still am furious and have developed a strong dislike for my brothers and their insensitivity towards my Mom's memory and all she ever did for us, their insensitivity towards my severe grieving (of which they have NO IDEA about!), not to mention my having to move from the place I have called "home" for 36 years. Deep down, I think they are enjoying it. For years, at least one of them had told me on several occasions over the past 20 years "well...you need to move out." Not taking into account the strong bond I had with both my Mom and Dad with whom I was no doubt closer with than any of them (another fact that I know they greatly resent). I told them I want to stay in the house and would like to buy them out. They are encouraging me to try to, but I think this is a sarcastic statement by them because they know all too well of my meagre income. I went to the bank today and told an officer about my idea of wanting to get the house and about my situation. I actually broke down and cried in front of her. That's how much this whole issue if affecting me not to mention how utterly devastated I am about losing not only my Mom, but also my Dad all over again. To make matters worse, the girl I want to marry told me she does not want to have to pay another 30 year mortgage when her own house (way too small for both of us) will be paid off in a few years. I love her dearly and can understand her point. But this house would be perfect for us. With both of our incomes combined and by selling her house, we could do it! And most of all I know that that is exactly what my Mom would want! I wish she would have willed the house entirely to me, but I think she was afraid to upset the others (even though they all have their big,fancy, nearly paid off houses). So that is where I am. I am sorry this is so long, but this has been a really tough week not to mention year. I fell on the floor crying tonight and went outside of the house wailing and crying as I took the trash out. I just cannot believe the insensitivity of some people. They think I have a problem, but it is they who really have a problem. It is called not having any soul and being completely heartless. It is sickening! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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