Gingie Posted September 18, 2010 Report Share Posted September 18, 2010 I lost my wonderful husband on March 24 2009 and my beloved Mother on April 22, 2009. And, I am having a horrible time. My daughter left her husband and filed for divorce less than 2 months after the loss of my mother (He told her she and I needed to "get over it!") and she moved in with me. My step son, who had no contace with his father, to speak of, for 2 years prior to his death and who had told us his was the real family and he wanted nothing to do with us, decided to fight the Estate and wanted to take our home and everything that was his fathers from me. He has refused to allow me to have even Facebook contact with his children, as further punishment for not getting his way. From the beginning I found it difficult to goout alone and now can hardly step outside of my doortogo into the yard. Ijust want to sit in the house, alone and play games on the computer, (this to keep from thinking.) Lately, I have started to cry, for the first time since both losses. I miss my husband so very much and at a complete loss without him. So empty and alone way. From the beginning, I have had a hard time going out into the public. My husband and I did everything together, went everywhere together. I can hardly step outside into the yard, just sit at the computer playing games as an escape. Just recently have I begun to cry, and the least thing can set me off. I talk to my husband a lot, and pray. I have no family nearby, except for my daughter, and have cut myself off from friends. Though only a couple have attempted to stay in touch at all. (Which I understand is common.) I used to read a lot, but cannot concentrate enough to do so these days. I also did a lot of needlework, but do not like where my mind wanders when I attempt to do any now. I have no trouble sleeping, for that is all I do when not on the computer. This I also realize is an escape. I used to be so organized and my house was so clean and neat. Now it is piled up with magazines, papers, stuff everywhere. I feel so overwhelmed that it is hard to do anything, so I do nothing, or just enought to get by. I am so sad and miserable that I don't want to be around anyone because I don't want them to feel my pain and to bring them "down." Making decisions is so very difficult. I feel like I am going out of my mind. I am on medications and whithout them, I don't know that I would be alive. Some days I wish I wasn't, that I could be with my husband and mother. But, I haven't contempated taking my own life, I don't want to leave my only child with all of the problems of dealing with cleaning out the house going through everything, having to deal with her step-brother. I know what I need to do, but cannot make myself do anything. I've called local schools to try to volunteer to read to third graders. Nobody returns my calls. The library doesn't take volunters, due to liability issues. Is there anybody out there who has experienced any of this that I am describing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now