Too Hard To Remember

[schellyk]

I have written on here a few times but not for a while. had some health issues so had to take a trip to mayo for some tests. On november 2nd my wonderful kind dad has been gone for six monthes!!! I cannot believe it still that he is gone. I miss him sooo much all the time. I try to keep busy helping mom selling her house and getting ready to move or playing with my new grandkids but miss him terribly. I have had a hard time with holidays for a few years now anyway. On New Years eve 2005 my only brother committed suicide and died on jan.6th of 2006. So the holidays have been hard since then. I feel so bad for mom that sometimes I think when I have a moment to myself it all really hits. Somedays it just seems like I can do nothing but cry and cannot seem to get the lump out of my throat. I went to the cemetary the other day and I had put a concrete bench by david and dads plots with a concrete little girl sitting on the bench holding flowers.I thought that since dad had five daughters and david had five sisters it was a good choice. and the other day when i got there I saw that for the second time since david died the little girl had been stolen! well on the way to rochester my husband and I stopped in melrose and bought another one. So I guess I will paint this one with both there favorite colors.

[niamh]

hi schelly,

I'm so sorry someone actually stole the little girl from the cemetery, I cannot fathom how or why someone would be so disgusting to do something like that, it's a sacred place with enough pain associated without having to deal with something like this. (((hugs))), sounds silly but maybe ask your Dad and your brother to look after the new one you've got and maybe it will be ok this time, I hope so.

Mine is gone just over 10 months and I miss him every second of every day, a good friend from this site said to me recently life itself is just a distraction from it and I think it's so true because no matter what I do, who I meet, where I go, at the end of it all I am still left with the loneliness, emptiness and sadness because he's not here with me.

N

[jodo]

Hi Schelly,

Welcome back to the site. I hope that you are feeling well, and found some answers at Mayo ?? I am coming up on the 10th month anniversary of losing my Dad, and the pain is still as raw and unbearable as the first month

We also had something stolen from my Dad's grave ( all six solar lights) It made me SO sad, and it frustrates me that every time I think of something I would like to take to him I realize it would be stolen too, so I don't ever take him much. I might carve a pumpkin and take it to him at halloween.

Well, take care, Love and hugs to you ! Jodi