Annoyed?

[Nick]

Hi,

I know this is a difficult time for many of us on this site. I have two young boys so I force myself to take them to Holiday events. We went to the Zoo lights last night they had fun, but I was annoyed by the end of the night. I was mad that I was alone without my husband. It's almost easier to stay home so I don't have to deal with the pain of seeing typical traditional families! How selfish of me I want my sons to be happy and experience all the magic of Christmas.. I know that is what Charles would want for his boys but how do I do it without having all these sad feelings?? I pray that time will make it easier and that I can be content with the blessing of my two sons instead of always looking at what I don't have my husband. I guess I just don't like this new person I have become hopefully with time things will get better! It has been 15 months , but I still struggle with how did this happen? This time of year just brings up a lot of memories and visions of what I feel Christmas is all about. Not having that someone special to share it with just sucks. Well, sorry to be so down not all days are this way just with the holidays approaching it surface a lot of pain. Thanks for listening! I pray we all find peace and comfort during this holiday season.