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Depression Is Sinking In

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As of late, I cannot get up in the morning and when I do, it is very slow. Every morning as I awake there is the reminder that this is a new life without my Mom. I don't like it. Don't like it at all.

I have no excitement about starting the day. I would rather stay in bed. Going out into the world is the last thing I want to do. Waking up and realizing yet again, that they are gone and are never coming back. And that ultimately, I am alone. I always had them as backup for any situation. Nobody is there for you like your parents in any given situation. The world is a much scarier place without them. If only I had listened to what they told me all those years ago and had not denied that this day would ever come. I just wish they could come back and we could have one breakfast, lunch or dinner together at any restaurant they chose. I would ask them what to do and how to be. It just kills me that I cannot communicate with them. I am lost without them. They told me this day would come and worried about me for when it would happen. Now I cannot ask them for help, nor rely on them for anything at all.

So I am in a deep depression. I can't get out of it.

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I know it is probably not a comfort to you but we all feel the same way, my friend. I would give anything in the world for one more day with my mom and i would tape our conversation so I could play it back on days when I need to hear her voice. Just one more day with her. I pray to God to let me dream of her and remember that dream, but God never hears my prayers, I guess. But I will pray for you and for all who have come and will come to this site. If we could just receive a sign from them.....

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