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Am I Being Stubborn And Self Absorbed?

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Background: When Tommy died, my daughter wanted to come help me pack, but couldn't and I understood. A month later, she wanted to stand by me at his funeral, but couldn't and promised she would be visiting me in October. And even though her visit would be short due to her visiting an in-law as well as her father, step mom and step siblings, I forced myself to understand even though I felt I should be the focus of her visit. I needed her!!

October came and just about everyone, including me got sick then I had another health scare, which thank God turned out to be nothing. All this time, my daughter and I did not talk because when she was naming who she was going to see, I was last. Her step brother, who was coming home from Iraq for R&R was more important. OK, yeah, he is a service man serving our country, but my whole world was just torn apart and I needed my daughter's comfort!!

October turned into November and I see pics she tagged on FB of her at her dad's... pics of her and her "sister" and new baby, pics of her and her "brother" and pics of her and her step mom HUGGING!! She found the time and money to go visit them and SKIPPED seeing me. Needless to say, I was floored. She called me, and after a 10 minute conversation in which I told her all about the things going wrong, I let her know I saw the pics and that I knew she went to her dad's (who by the way lives 2 hours from me and she had to pass through my town to get to his house and back home.)

That was the last time I talked to her, besides wishing her a Merry Christmas on FB. I am resigning myself to not having any kind of relationship with her. I have tried over and over to get it back and thought I wouldn't have to tell her I needed her... But, I guess I was wrong yet again. Oh yeah, she also missed seeing her "REAL BROTHER" and his family over seeing her step family.

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I am so sorry that you are dealing with the loss of tommy and the difficulty you are having with your daughter. I believe she does not know or want to know what you are going through. Enjoy the friends you have, depend on your son and may peace be with you.

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My head is telling me you're right. We were never as close as I would have liked and she got really angry at me when my Ex and I divorced. A lot, if not all her anger derives from that, I think. What bothers me is our not talking is keeping me away from my 2 other grand children ages 7 and 6. I have seen them a handful of times and that hurts.

I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I need to "pull myself up by the boot straps" as my mom used to say and deal with it.

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