My Friend Wants To Step Away

[Cat_Lady]

I am now so very lost. About a month ago, I came in contact with an old friend (from 30 years ago). We each discovered that we had lost a parent since December 2010. We are both somewhat alone in our lives and it seemed like fate had given us each someone to talk to and share with. We talked online, we met and had coffee/tea and seemed to reconnect and be very understanding of each other. We discussed where our lives had gone over the last 30 years. We seemed to be connecting and now he wants to pull away. We each have our own lives and kids but I thought we were becoming close friends. Now it seems, the one friend who understands is pulling away. Can life be so cruel as to take someone away from me with which I had just reconnected? Mom died on January 4th and my pain is still so severe and incapacitating but this one friend seemed to understand. I want to keep him as a friend -- is this a normal response? What should I do? Am I just to vulnerable right now to be trying to build a friendship? How can this all be happening? I feel so alone and so much despair. Someone help me?

[Guest Nicholas]

Don't the experts suggest not doing anything rash or impetuous after a bereavement? If so, perhaps you might have been reading too much into what rekindling this old friendship meant or perhaps your new found friend simply cannot cope or commit. Either way, the only solution is to communicate with this person to find out exactly where you both stand and what you both want out of life.

Take care

Nicholas

[Cat_Lady]

Thank you for reminding me of the perils of this emotional rollercoaster of a ride we call grief. I did communicate with this old friend and, as usual, communication clears up many uncertainties. Your advice was both wise and sound. It is wonderful to have a place like this is tlak about so many different aspects of the grieving process. Chatting with others who are or have experienced grief is a great comfort during this time of confusion.