Everything

[hello123]

Sorry this is a bit long but I just wanted suggestions advice I guess, I went to see my counsellor but its such a short session and now I won't see her again for 2 weeks. It's bad enough what has happened, and usually when bad things happen you can distract yourself with the others things but everywhere I look everythings turned sour and I don't know how to escape. I'm living at University away from home only have a few weeks left but every aspect of my life is a shambles and it doesnt 'upset' me I'm just fed up but also confused how can everything just be problematic. If someone has just one of these problems its more than enough to get them down I'm trying not to get down but I just dont get why everythings happening. My academic life is bad, I had the worst tutor and the girl I was working with was crying and hysterical all the time because of the way our tutor treated us and how it is affecting our mark. I couldn't even be upset I didn't let it bother me, nothing really does anymore. My social life is the same I'm just lonely, my house situation is awful I live with my ex best friend who has decided to start bullying me and Im not allowed to watch her TV so I sit in my room all the time and living in the house is awful. My ex boyfriend cheated and lied to me and doesnt want anything to do with me even though I always still try and talk to him. I want to go home so badly but I dread the thought, although Im getting used to not speaking to my dad going home makes me feel sick because hes not there and I dread moving back.

That is every aspect of my life, everyone else my age who only knows about one of these things is like "that must be so horrible how do you deal with it" and I don't even 'deal' with these things because they seem so minor I dont want to waste my energy so I try and stay calm and unaffected. However, I just don't understand why this is always happening, ever since my Dad died small bad things have happened in the rest of my life, stressors which are supposed to pass but which have been going round in circles never allowing me to find anything that will distract me make me happy. I just think even when one of these things happens to someone else it's bad enough but why are they just happening and not stopping? And what do I do and where do I go to improve it all?

[sunstreet]

Dear Hello123,

Please no need to apologize for expressing your pain; try not to worry how long you need to talk; it is allowed. We all understand here and it is safe to talk.

I don't have all the answers but I do understand your pain. I think when someone dies that was so important to us: it magnifies even the smallest of problems into big huge ones. Grieving is an exhausting process and does not leave much energy for much else.

I encourage you to keep up with the work you are doing in therapy. I encourage you to find an outlet for your pain; journaling, painting...perhaps. I understand it feels like the end of the world to move back and not have your Father there in the physical sense. Can you write him a letter; tell him how you are feeling? I did this after the loss of my Father and it helped tremendously.

I heard your pain; you are not alone.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[hello123]

Carol Ann thank you for your reply. You summed it up so well its exhausting to grieve theres no energy for other things!

[sunstreet]

Dear Hello123,

You are very welcome! I encourage you to keep on keeping on and reaching out. Take good gentle care as you so deserve.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann