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April 30, a few weeks before my 17 birthday, my baby sister was born. Three years later, she passed away without warning due to doctor error.

Now, six years later, my husband and I are discussing starting a family of our own. I am still working through grief issues. Something that has recently popped up is my intense fear of having a baby girl. I feel as if I am putting off children of my own to avoid dealing with issues related to my sisters death. I am concerned about putting all of my feelings and expectations related to my sister onto my hypothetical daughter.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

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  • 4 weeks later...


I don't know about sister - but our first baby died in utero around week 23 due to a genetic malformation. It was so hard to even think about getting pregnant again - I and especially feared having a little boy. I can say that was 12 years go and I now have four healthy children. It is hard - and you have fears - but I can say it is well worth the pain.

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