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i lost my dad 12-8-11 and it was a VERY rough road to say the least. he went from being okay, to completely dependent on others' help, being in the hospital/hospice/long term nursing care for the last 5 months of his life. it was a VERY draining time and i fought to be his voice throughout the whole time. people looked at me as a young person with little to no experience and didn't take what i said seriously. i later found out that things i had said to the medical people that were SUPPOSED to be helping us, was used against both him and i instead of being any help. now seeing that he's gone and i could really use someone to talk to, i'm very leery of saying things to others as i don't want anything more used against me. its VERY hard to speak to people who aren't direct family and are going through this as well, and to trust that they are actually going to help you. maybe one day i will post more of our story, but for now i'll see how this goes.

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I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. If you ever want to talk here personal message me.

I lost my Grandma in April - she raised me so she was more like my mom - plus she was my best friend. She became a widow very young - with three young children - she was a strong and vibrant person. She survived cancer - lived alone up until the last couple of years (she lost her vision) - and up until the last few months of her life was a strong person. Those last few months where very difficult to watch - a vibrant - loving - kind - amazing person wither away both physically and mentally is hard. And I also understand the battles with the medical community. I hate to admit that I worked in a hospital for a year and a half - hated it - I never will do it again. The attitude that so many of the hospital staff had towards people at the end of their lives just made me sick. It still makes me sick. My Grandma who survived pancreatic cancer ended up passing away because of a UTI. Trying to do what is right for your loved one when it feels like the medical community really doesn't care is hard - and having them use your actions against you is even harder (I have seen them do this to people before - it is heartbreaking)

I will say that someday the anger about his care will dissipate. I am all for writing letters to anyone you can about it though - to help prevent what happened to you from happening to others. That helped me a lot - I wrote the medical practice that dropped the ball with my Grandma - wrote to the head doctor - don't think anything ever became of it but at least it was out there.

I have found the people here to be wonderful and supportive. All have been through a loss - you will find that some have similar stories to you.

Good luck - you will be in my thoughts


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