Trying To Cope

[Durbin]

I find that the longer the days go by the harder it is to come to terms with the loss of my husband now 4 months ago.

The other day I thought I'd get out of the house and go for a little walk along the footpath but as I walked the tears started to flow unexpectedly. I'd been looking up at the mountain in the distance. I then heard voices and a couple approached and passed me on the path - they were about the same age as myself - in the 70's. I felt more depressed because they were still together for I know they are husband and wife. I feel I cannot share anymore with a partner - the loss is terrible and everywhere I go I see couples the same age as myself which makes me feel worse. At the present time I cannot cope with happy couples although I don't mind young people.

I am now completely alone and the phone doesn't ring so much for everyone has been getting on with their lives and the message is loud and clear if I phone. They are always busy - at the beginning it was all supportive but now it is very clear to me that they want you to carry on with your life. What life? - a life with an aching heart all the time. Nothing seems to work - I do my best to get about whenever I can by going on buses as I do not drive but I'm always glad to come home and draw the blinds in the evening. There is no one to ask if they want some tea or coffee anymore. Feeling sad every day now.

[Lina]

I am so sorry. *hugs* I wish I could make it better for you.