3 Months

[Beth M]

It's been 3 months since I lost my dad. 3 months without hearng his voice or getting a hug. My heart is so heavy and I miss him so much. My mom has moved back home after staying with my family for the last 3 1/2 weeks. She has had some rough times this week, but am so proud of her for her strength. I'm having a tough time today of the anniversary of his death. I think those that love me think I should be more "over it", but sometimes the hurt kicks me right in the gut. I am thankful for this forum and thank each of you for being here. My thoughts are with each of you on your journey

Beth

[missingdad]

I am starting to think it's better not to have an anniversary every month. I am the only one in my family that remembers the 24th of each month. I miss my dad so much as well. I also feel that others think I should be more over it. Everyone has a unique relationship with their dad. He was the one person that helped me right away with any problem I had (big or small). He was my biggest fan. There is no other person that can fill that gap in my life. My thoughts are with you and all others grieving.

[Beth M]

I think it's probably a good idea not to have an anniversary every month as well, but at this point it's impossible not to think about it. My 17 year old niece was killed on friday the 13th 2 years ago and my dad died on friday the 13th 3 months ago, so it's even harder when it's a friday the 13th not to remember the anniversary. My dad was that person to me as well, always my biggest supporter and fan, I am sorry that you too have lost your dad. I hope that you are doing ok and you will be in my thoughts as well

[missingdad]

I'm sorry to hear about your niece. I am glad he got to see me graduate, get married, have kids etc... It does feel too soon though. I don't think there is ever a good time to lose a father. I am doing much better than the first month, but like u said the hurt still kicks me in the gut from time to time. Those that love me think I should be almost 100% now, but that's not the case. I'm slowly getting there. I hope your doing better on Sat the 14th.

[Beth M]

Thank you, I am fortunate to have had such a wonderful father who was there for my wedding, kids etc...but there are times when I feel like I was still cheated out of a lot of time. I am SO thankful that he never suffered and that I was able to be there with him and fulfill his request to me that he wouldn't suffer, but as we have both said, there are times the pain of losing him kicks me in the gut and brings me to my knees. I have decided some of the issue for me is that I have NO control. I am used to being in control of my thoughts and emotions, and grief takes that control away from you. We can't decide that at 5 months we are going to be ok, or that today is going to be a day that I don't let it "get" to me, we have to relinquish control and just feel what we need to feel, and that has been difficult to do. I am glad that you are starting to feel better, as am I, but then some days I feel worse, and I guess that has to be OK. Hope you are having a good week and are finding reasons to smile. My mom gave me a box of momentos from my childhood today....that brought many smiles though the tears Have a good monday and thanks for your responses!

[missingdad]

Thank you. That's exactly what it is - I'm not in control of my thoughts and emotions all the time. This is the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. It does put alot into perspective. I was thinking about buying a new car before my dad passed, but now I couldn't care less. I definitely feel cheated as well. Everyone says be grateful for what you have, but that's easier said than done. You're right, we need to feel what we need to feel and it's not fun. Hope you have a good week.