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Will I Ever Be Happy Again?


Guest Tonya Burden

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Guest Tonya Burden

My Mother past away June 19th,2005. (it was Fathers day) My sister and I were adopted when we were babies. We were adopted by my biological fathers, sister. She was my best friend and I miss her so much. She was only 56 when she died and it was a sudden death; I was at my parents house fixing my Dad dinner for Fathers day and about 5:00 pm we left to go home and get ready for church and my aunt called and said something is wrong with your Mom we have called an ambulance you might want to come back out to the house!!! I told her I would just meet them at the hospital . My Mom was fine when I left so I just didn't think it was that serious. My Dad called back and said come and get me and take me up to the hospital and I said just ride with my aunt who was already at his house; then he said sis there is somethingbad wrong with your Mom!! I told him to let me talk to her and he said no she can't talk , I told him to give the phone to my aunt and I told my aunt to put the phone up to her ear and she did, I told my Mom that I loved her and I would see her at the hospital and she said I can't breathe,Ican't breathe. That would be the last thing I would hear my mother say because she died on the way to the hospital of an anurizum in her pancreas. I did everything with my Mom. My kids were very close to her. There is never a minute of the day I don't think of her. Her side of the family which is really blood doesn't even call or talk to us and before her death we did everything with them we were all very close. I thought they would be there for us but there not. I have not just lost my Mother, my bestfriend,but I have lost all the gatherings we had with family.On Christmas one of my Mom's sisters did call she had worked this Christmas but she said that everybody else(meanig my Mom's other 2 sisters and 3 brothers and their families)was having Christmas dinner together. My sister and me our Father and ourkids and husbands stayed home. No one sent a card or made sure we were okay. I feel like we have been forgotten. I wish my Mom was here so bad.I have been on medicine because I couldn't function. I got off the medicine because I couldn't function . What now ???? I( feel like I am going crazy!! WILL I EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN??????????? What can I do????

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My Mother past away June 19th,2005. (it was Fathers day) My sister and I were adopted when we were babies. We were adopted by my biological fathers, sister. She was my best friend and I miss her so much. She was only 56 when she died and it was a sudden death; I was at my parents house fixing my Dad dinner for Fathers day and about 5:00 pm we left to go home and get ready for church and my aunt called and said something is wrong with your Mom we have called an ambulance you might want to come back out to the house!!! I told her I would just meet them at the hospital . My Mom was fine when I left so I just didn't think it was that serious. My Dad called back and said come and get me and take me up to the hospital and I said just ride with my aunt who was already at his house; then he said sis there is somethingbad wrong with your Mom!! I told him to let me talk to her and he said no she can't talk , I told him to give the phone to my aunt and I told my aunt to put the phone up to her ear and she did, I told my Mom that I loved her and I would see her at the hospital and she said I can't breathe,Ican't breathe. That would be the last thing I would hear my mother say because she died on the way to the hospital of an anurizum in her pancreas. I did everything with my Mom. My kids were very close to her. There is never a minute of the day I don't think of her. Her side of the family which is really blood doesn't even call or talk to us and before her death we did everything with them we were all very close. I thought they would be there for us but there not. I have not just lost my Mother, my bestfriend,but I have lost all the gatherings we had with family.On Christmas one of my Mom's sisters did call she had worked this Christmas but she said that everybody else(meanig my Mom's other 2 sisters and 3 brothers and their families)was having Christmas dinner together. My sister and me our Father and ourkids and husbands stayed home. No one sent a card or made sure we were okay. I feel like we have been forgotten. I wish my Mom was here so bad.I have been on medicine because I couldn't function. I got off the medicine because I couldn't function . What now ???? I( feel like I am going crazy!! WILL I EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN??????????? What can I do????

Tonya...I am so sorry that you lost your Mom....I to lost my Mother, my best friend in Sept. She was 82 and I miss her very much....There was no Christmas decorations etc in my house and no Christmas cards sent.....how in the world could I celebrate when I was so empty inside. I have a wonderful husband, son + daughter-in-law and they all accepted my feelings about the holidays......I too am on medication to help me sleep.....can't turn my brain off and when I do close my eyes all I see is my Mother laying there on the hospital bed dying.....I don't think that your family didn't care about you at Christmas ....I just think that they were so wrapped up in their own worlds that they didn't try to understand the way that you felt.....everyone grieves in their own way ...so I have been told....my Father passed away in March, and I was a Daddy's girl but when you lose your Mom it is somehow different...it doesn't matter how old you are ......if you have had the kind of relationship that it sounds like you had with your Mom it is even harder...

Just keep expressing yourself....I have found that it is very theraputic to write these posts......I'm sure that we will all be HAPPY again but it my take time to get that way.....

Don't beat yourself up about the way you are feeling but don't let it totally rule you either........I found that if I keep busy it does help..........WE MUST ALL KEEP OUR CHINS UP.....so to speak.....if you can...get a book on grieving....it sure has helped me....I am a nurse and have dealt with grieving from that side and all of this is new to me too....but I have read some things and that has helped me from thinking that I am going crazy.....just read the other posts here and that helps some too......

Funnyface

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