Maylissa Posted January 2, 2006 Report Share Posted January 2, 2006 Today marks 2 years since my Mum passed away, and I'm so full of conflicting feelings. I first awoke to something lovely that my husband had done for me. On the kitchen counter he had left a sympathy card about losing a mother, along with an angel 'hug' pin from a mother to a daughter, with a beautiful verse on the pin's card, and 2 glass snowmen ornaments, one with my name and one with my Mother's. I was blown away by his sweet consideration of my feelings today. His loving gesture will help me get through the day, especially since we're having a couple of friends over for the afternoon, just because we hadn't gotten to see them yet over holidays, and today worked for them...so I won't be able to 'indulge' in a lot of tears that are waiting inside, just yet.On the flip-side, I'd just started reading a new book, written (mainly) by a man who is supposedly on earth as a human form of our Creator, come to teach us how things really are...the Truth. My husband gave me this book for Christmas, as a gift 'from my Mum', as I'd been interested in reading it. It's called "Easy Death", which sounds promising, but from what I've read so far, apparently it doesn't offer any words of comfort, as things are supposedly not at ALL how we imagine them to be, and I got the distinct impression, from what little I've read so far in skipping around the chapters, that we may NOT ever see our loved ones again......because there's really only One of us here anyway. This echos other things I've read in the last decade, things that really only leave me more depressed, lonely and actually frightened.....and yet I'm the type who 'has to KNOW!', so can't turn away any knowledge I might gain, in anything. So I also woke up with these feelings of dread and fear, about life, about death, about what the point of it all is. While this may be beyond what many of you are dealing with yet, I had to give voice to what's really bothering me as of this morning, this lonely morning. I don't know how the day will go.....I can't even hope for the 'best', as I don't even know what that means anymore. I only know that, as a daughter, losing your mother truly 'does a number' on you, maybe forever more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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