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A little over a month ago my soulmate was in a fatal car accident. I drive a truck so I had just delivered my load and got a phone call. She was in MI working when someone crossed into her lane hitting her vehicle head on. It was instantaneous for her, which was a blessing. I had to leave my truck and go up there to get her in MI. I had no one to help me or to really understand what I needed. Anyway less than 24 hours had passed and her kids (22 & 21) filed a lawsuit for Wrongful Death, with the guidance of another relative. I found out this like two weeks later, as well as one of those kids filing for Administratrix of the Estate, basically trying to make sure I had no say. Anyway she had a two life insurance policies. Our main life insurance and a secondary for her kids. Oh I raised those kids for 18 years. She and I never got around to getting a will drawn up. We discussed how to make sure things were done. Her kids had a whole separate policy and my kids were to get about $25k each. The rest was for bills and me to put away some, as well as have some to survive off of for a bit. Long story short I gave my kids the $25k each and her kids $15k the oldest had a baby, and the other of her kids $10k. Well one of my kids told the other children I only gave her $200, even though I told her about her banks rules. So this started a shhhh storm. Needless to say I am now the most horrible person on this earth, not welcome in my own home, and told that I deserve nothing but to die. This is starting to weigh heavily on me and I know it's a trial, but it is so hard when I have done nothing but try to support them. I plan on selling the house she and I had, moving and buying one. Anyone been through this and how do you cope, does it ever feel as though the weight is lifting off you? I don't know if the relationship with the kids can ever be saved. I know that I did what was asked and now it seems as though greed has kicked in.

Both my parents died this year within a few months of each other. I am feeling pretty disconnected as I was the only one of my siblings (there are 2 others) who cried during the holidays. Yes, my parents were pretty elderly (88) but it is just hard to see them go. Everyone is the family keeps a pretty tight lid on emotions; frankly that came from my parents and its not always healthy. My middle sister all along has been the one person disputing any splitting of money. (my parents left a sizeable chunk). First it was that she wanted all kind of work done on my parent's house, with their money while her son was renting it. Parents had moved to a senior living apartment and we knew could not return. So that was a big dispute even though the other sibling and I tried to point out they were just renting it; no home improvements projects were warranted. Then, when the house sold she wanted her son to get a bargain. Now they both my parents are gone, she is the executor of the will. Many years ago she borrowed money from my parents, paying it back with interest and all along the plan was that she would take the debt out of her share of the estate. That was always the plan, discussed verbally but not on paper (I know, bad idea). Let's say she borrowed $30K. Instead of paying each sibling back she now thinks she should get a third of the $30K herself since "its part of the estate". Her tax person told her this was the thing to do and she is trying to push it through. I told her I don't agree and she is accusing me of "questioning her honesty". Frankly she is just so aggressive about the money thing that I trust her less and less. If it's for her or her kids, she is just kind of nasty and huffy about the whole thing. And not like she is in great need of money. So is this grief disguised? Old family drama playing out? Or is this just greed pure and simple? Thanks for the advice!