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Learning, Growing From Grief

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#1 MartyT


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Posted 01 September 2011 - 05:20 AM

Here's an interesting article on what psychologists are calling post-traumatic growth (PTG):

Learning, growing from grief
While the more dramatic PTSD has gotten far more publicity, a cadre of researchers has been studying the positive side of trauma and grief: that most people bounce back to baseline, and some emerge from disaster stronger and better, at least in some ways.

By Stacey Burling
The Philadelphia Inquirer

Read more here: http://bit.ly/qXTItz

Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, DCC
Grief Counselor
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#2 sunstreet


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Posted 05 September 2011 - 07:18 PM

Dear Marty,

Thank you so very much for sharing this article! I have not been on in a very long while for a myriad of reasons and to come back on today and read your post and this article...well marvelous!

I have always felt that there should be a new diagnosis in the DSM and that should be it ~ Post Traumatic Growth! I believe that it is possible to grow from adversity and challenges that life throws at us. I was so happy to come on and read this for I feel so alone at times with my growth despite all the adversities in my life.

I absolutley love the this new forum and thank you for giving it birth!!!!

Blessing and Courage, Carol Ann

As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life -- delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay -- I hold this question as a guiding light: "What do I really need right now to be happy?" What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.

Sharon Salzberg

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years -- we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.

Sharon Salzberg

#3 mfh


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Posted 05 September 2011 - 08:49 PM

I do see ways I have grown since Bill was sick and also since he died. I don't focus on that too much as I do my grief work and create a new life for myself but if I look, I see signs of growth and strength.

I never thought I would make it this far....going on 18 months...but here I am. I feel tears well up as I type that. I feel greater compassion for those in pain...and have reached out to many in the past months: acquaintance going through a nasty divorce, another two dealing with breast cancer, another in a divorce....there is always someone in pain not too far away from us.

If I choose not to grow from all this pain and loss and sadness... I am wasting an opportunity that can affect my life and the lives of all those I come in contact with.

I believe our lives here on this planet are about practicing lovingkindness and growing less fearful and more compassionate. That is what Bill and I were about and I plan to continue on that path...tears and all. Someone said to me that they admired how I was dealing with Bill's death in that I do not hold back my tears, I am honest (most of the time) when asked how I am doing, etc. She said I was teaching others how to handle loss. That felt good. It is a matter of being true to our authentic selves....that is my purpose.

On the other hand, the profoundly sad part of me sometimes just does not give a hang about growing or being kind or being compassionate. Luckily that part of me does not surface on a daily basis. But she is there when my pain is unbearable.

Mary Friedel-Hunt MA LCSW
Grief Counselor
Email: mfriedelhunt@charter.net
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I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear)  -eecummings                Your wound is where the light enters you. ~Rumi

#4 marsha


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Posted 16 September 2011 - 03:19 PM

This is an interesting article, Marty. When I think of it, the people I've met here, and the widows/widowers I know IRL, are some of the strongest people I've ever met. And yes, I include myself, too, as angst ridden as I can be at times. I feel like I've been through the fire and survived, even as survival is still day to day. It's a strange feeling. Mary, your statement "if I choose not to grow...", yes, I've thought this often. If I can't learn/take something from this, where am I?

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