Father just died on 8/20/2015 - Funeral on 8/29

[Christina1976]

Hello All,

I recently lost a father. It was a pretty quick downhill battle. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and end stage renal disease. In the last month, I traveled out of state back and forth to help visit and care for him, and was there in the last week or so of his death. This has been very traumatic for me as he was my only surviving parent (mom died 20 years ago) and he remarried a woman shortly after that we really don't consider family due to her own severe mental issues that kept us distant. Now, I am going back to a relatively new job and am having a hard time making it through. My husband is starting to get tired of me talking about anything related to my father dying and his death. I have yet to contact a counselor but will do so this week as my work provides help for this. Right now, it is hard for me to keep forgetting his last words to me as I helped administer morphine, "What is this?" How do I move on when I don't really feel like it but life forces me to do so?

[kayc]

Christina,

I'm sorry you lost your father.  I'm sorry also that your husband is tiring of it...I assume he hasn't been through this before?  Even if he had, each loss, as each relationship, is unique.  It'd help if after you start seeing a grief counselor, you could bring your husband in for a session to help him understand what you're going through is normal and how he can be supportive to you in it.

[Degasgirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I really don't have any true words of wisdom for you other than I understand how you are feeling ( my mom passed away 7/4/15). It just be very difficult being in a relatively new job. I think the hardest thing is that once the funeral is over it seems you are expected to "move on". I guess we do in a way but it starts to seem more realistic as the days go on and it's hard. I'm sorry your husband is getting tired of it. Mine often says nothing (b/c he really doesn't know what to say). The other day as I was crying he started to walk out of the room and I asked him what he was doing and I said I don't know what you want me to say. I was so angry and upset I just said just sit with me or give me a hug. He's pretty good but definitely doesn't get it. Try to find a grief counselor or group. I'm seeing one this week and joining a group that starts in Oct.  Just know you are not alone. We all understand here on this forum.