moparlicious

Thank you all for your love and support. Last night was the memorial, I did not go, sent his wife a card and that is all I can do right now, no more. I am not angry anymore, all these emotions so roller coaster, confusion, hurt and most of all sadness. I am trying to take one day at a time and continue to venture in this journey of whatever may be. I truly love you guys and thank you for holding my hand and heart every step of the way. Love, Kim :wub:

Happy Birthday My dear fiend Teny. Love you, Kim

Hi all, thanks for wonderful responses. It means so much to me that you understand and you understood every word and feeling, I felt so alone and people who have not gone through the deepest saddest grief like us, just dont seem to get it. I would never vent any anger to anyone in the family. I know they are in deep pain. Suicide makes no sense to me and I know I will never understand it, it leaves you with so many unanswered questions. As far as going to the church, I don't know yet, but my heart will guide me to do the right thing. Thank you for being here for me, I truly love you guys and I am so so blessed to have each and every one of you. I don't know if I would make it without you all. You guys are my inspiration and a loving family that give so much. Love, Kim

Hello my friends, I had technical difficulties and had to delete my account and start a new one, but I am back. 2 nights ago my husbands uncle(my uncle by marriage) killed himself, he was in his 50's. This last 1 1/2 yrs I have lost my husband, my best friend, my grandmother. Had a battle with kids and myself illnesses, had a house fire,and now our uncle has passed. I am so drained I am beginning to wear down, I cannot take anymore. I have so many mixed emotions regarding our uncles passing. I am deeply saddened by this, but another part of me is angry.Uncle Bobbys death has nothing to do with Dan dying, and I am not saying this death will bring Dan back, but I think his suicide was a selfish act and why is it he choose to kill himself yet Dan fought so hard to live. He wanted to die yet Dan wanted nothing more than to live, the choice was not ours and he died. I hope I am making sense. I am riding this emotional roller coaster and I am confused and heartbroken. Does this ever end??? I am distraught and deeply crushed. Uncle Bobby is my mother in laws only brother, as Dan was her only son. They want to have his memorial at the same church I had Dan's, I don't know if I am strong enough to deal with going. My niece says it is only a church , I don't feel this way. I have also been told not to be mad at Uncle Bobby for killing himself, yet he was healthy and had been given the choice of life, yet he ended it. People who have not gone through this do not understand, this is so hard for me and I cannot explain it to them to understand what I go through. I just sit and sob and pray. Thanks for listening, love you guys. Love, Kim