Josie

Yes I get that quite a bit, I know just the feeling. Especially right at the beginning but it's starting to be less frequent. I'm sorry about your dad. My mum passed away recently. It's such a huge thing to comprehend. When someone you love so much and has been there every day of your life suddenly disappears. I find meditation helps. Maybe you are not without your dad. Maybe he is right there with you just in a different way. I find it helps writing my mum emails telling her everything that I'm feeling. Maybe you could write or talk to him about how much you miss hanging out with him. I find I get panicky when I think I can't talk to her any more and it is a great relief just to tell her everything I'm feeling and how much I miss her. I hope you wake up one morning soon feeling yourself again ready to take on the world. I'm sure it will take time. But I'm sure your dad still loves you so much and wants to see you happy. Warmest wishes, Josie

Hello Aries Thank you for sharing about your mum. She sounds very much like my mum. Although she could sometimes seem tough she was so full of love for us. She would do anything and she worried so much. I guess when people have to be strong and independent in their lives it's hard to shake it. She also cared very much for the underdog. Now that she is gone I am in awe of how truly wonderful she was in all her contradictions. I also miss her very deeply and don't know what on earth to do without her. Have you heard the quote by Whitman "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes." I'm sure they're still somewhere containing multitudes. Warmest wishes and hugs, Josie

Hi Michelle, Thank you for your lovely message and I am also sorry about your mum. It's a shock isn't it. Mum wanted so much to get better, she tried so hard. I just wish with all my heart that there was more I could have done. It's very hard to accept that there wasn't. That's some good advice. I still write my mum emails, it helps a lot. It does help to know I'm not alone so thank you for sharing your story. It can hurt a lot when everyone around you seems to have their mum. I wish you every joy in life Michelle. I hope you have lots of love and understanding around you. Warmest wishes, Josie

My lovely mum passed away recently form cancer. She had it for a year and she seemed to be doing so well. Then I went walking with her one day, we came home and she lay down and she couldn't get out of bed. She died within a few days. It is still such a shock. She was the one person I could tell everything to, and I don't know how I can get through this without her. She was so amazing to talk to and no one else is as deep or wise or knows me as well. My Father left when I was young and so now I have no parents. I feel so sad that if I have children I will never be able to give them grandparents. Mum would have loved so much to be a grandmother. She would have been wonderful. I feel so alone without her. I have lost all my inspiration to do anything. I used to have big dreams now I can't seem to see the point. I don't know where to go next. I don't feel like I can grieve for her properly because I don't feel like I have enough support. I want so much to have a life that she could be proud of but I just don't have the energy for anything. My heart is so heavy most of the time. She was such an energetic person who did so much in her life. I wish I could be like her but I have nothing left to give anyone. I just wish I could chat to her again and give her a cuddle.

Thank you for your beautiful poem. It very simply says a lot. I know just the feeling. I lost my Mum a few months ago. Your poem reminds me of her too. She was also strong and compassionate and impossible to define.