I stumbled on this website through reading an article, and am very glad I did. I lost my mom 3 months ago, and things have been WEIRD to say the least. She had been battling cancer for almost 3 yrs., but it always seemed under control until the last 6 months. I just never believed that we would lose her because we had come so far, and my faith was so strong. So when doctors said there was nothing more to do it was a shock. After that things went down hill super fast, and she was gone within 2 weeks. I am thankful that I had a chance to tell her goodbye, and be with her, but none the less it hasn't made it any easier after the fact. I have also found it hard to get back to normal...I'm not sure that you can since normal is no longer normal. Things are just so weird. I find myself doing really well overall, but then I find that I am frustrated easily, or just somewhat withdrawn. There's a part of me that wants to be around my friends, but then I just seem to stay away more. The first month after her death I would cry almost everyday on my commute home from work, or at night before bed. I have never felt so out of control of my emotions! I feel that I am doing well now because I am very busy, but I still have BAD days. I even recently went through some anger because I feel very cheated. It's hard to lose someone who has been with you all your life. I feel very lost. I didn't realize how much I needed or went to my mom for things. Even little things like how to do certain things....mom's always know! I can really relate to how you feel about feeling like people think we should be over it by now. They probably don't really think that, but it's the perception I get. I am one who rarely cries in front of others. The rock is what my mom called me. So I hide my emotions a lot. But sometimes I just want to scream "I'm not ok, this sucks!" It's hard to relate this to people who haven't been there. I have lost a lot of people in my life unfortunately, but this is completely different. You can't understand it unless you've been there. I guess I really don't have much advice for you, but just that talking with others who understand may bring some comfort...sometimes I just want to talk about it, but feel like others don't want to hear it, or that it makes them uncomfortable. Probably just my own weird thoughts, but none the less that's how I feel. I have to say it was nice reading this thread and seeing that others have a lot of the same feelings I do. Sometimes I don't even know what I am feeling, and even feel bad sometimes when I have been doing good for too long. She wouldn't want that for sure.Well, anyway enough of my rambling. I think this has helped me some just to get some of these thoughts out. I am so sorry for everyone's loss, and that we even have to be here at all. Time will heal our open wounds, but the scar will always be our reminder!