I just found out my grandmas cancer is back and this time its stage four , and my Dan has been gone for 7 months now. I find myself saying sometimes I just cant go threw this again but then I realize that however hard and sometimes seemingly unfair it is this is our circle of life. When I have my times (they seem like all the time lately) of grief thats swallowing me whole I tell myself this is our circle of life and its the path that I have to go down and with that I just let my grief be,, if I have a day where I cant stop crying well then I just let it be, same if Im having a happy day, or an angry day.
Dan is always in my thoughts every second and in my heart and soul.
I find sometimes talking to him helps or if we are having a nice family day then we include him,, tell little stories ,, jokes at his expense(as they always were), or even talk about something funny he would have said. This gives me the feeling of him being included in my life the same way he is still and always will be in my heart.
I have a good friend who once said to me just before my grandpa passed grieve for him when he is gone not while he is still here , enjoy every last second u have with them maybe if u explained to your families that this is what they are taking away from you when they dont include you ,, and really the only thing they are leaving u with is the grief if either a friend or family member does pass on ,, its a very special gift to be able to say your goodbyes to a loved one(either family or friend) and I am right now dealing with the news about my grandma who is one of the very most important people in my life just this way I will try and wait to grieve untill after she has passed.
lots of hugs Barb