I have always been a spiritual person, and I always found comfort in all things given to me by the Creator.
I prayed all of my life for my true soul mate. Last year he sent John for me to love with my heart and soul. For the first time in my life I felt a heart and soul connection, in a relationship. The love is so deep because of our spiritual connection. A few weeks into the relationship we each thanked God that we met and fell in love. We felt blessed to have found each other.
When he was diagnosed with cancer less than a year after we met we decided to spend more time together and enjoy what little time we had left rather than endure more tests, treatment and hospitalization. We grew more in love each day and thankful for each moment.
When he told me that he had a few weeks to live I was struck with a pain that I never felt before. I heard of deep soulmate love and separation but I never knew how much it hurt until I heard he would be leaving me soon. When his sister called to let me know John had died I was left with questions about why he had to go home so soon.
I spent days crying and asking God why John had to go home so soon. I didn't get any answers but I wonder if this was the greatest test of all. The days John and I spent together felt like years. The minutes like hours. Despite all the ups and downs typical of couples who have spent years together, we still felt this was the most loving and fulfilling relationship that either of us ever had in our lives. It was just a year but it felt like years. We had love and that is all we needed to face anything life throw us.
John told me many times a day, since we met last summer, that he loves me and he is the luckiest man in the world. Our favorite song is 'You and I' by Michael Buble, and 'Oh My Love' by John Lennon.
I still talk to God and I ask the Angels to take good care of John. I believe he is at Peace. I also talk to John each day because I feel in my heart he is in Heaven and wishing I live and be happy like he said. I still hear him say I love you Jane, my angel, my heart, my love.
I go to our favorite places beside the river and lakes and talk to him and tell him how much I love him. I thank God for those beautiful places he created for John and I to enjoy while he was alive. Those places will always be Heaven on Earth.
This Christmas is going to be very lonely without John. We were talking about a honeymoon in Arizona and traveling to visit family and friends sharing the joy of our marriage.
I contacted family and friends to pray for me to give me strength through the holidays. I feel so much better when they pray for me. It doesn't erase the loss and pain but it will make it bearable through the holidays.
I pray for all of us so that we will find comfort, love and support from each other.
Namaste
Jane