shalady

Kay, thinking of you and sending big hugs and prayers.

Shalady

Thank you. It is a comforting message. I can relate to the fact that the deeper the love the greater the pain. This is so overwhelming. I am so grateful for you and all the others that share here. It helps so much.

I am new to all this, just lost my husband three months ago, so I am not offering advice, just my own experience so far. I too do not like this "new" life. It is not life but merely existing at this point. I am unhappy most of the time. I cry every day several times a day. I miss my husband. Sometimes I forget he is gone, as if he is going to call and then I realize he is gone. I haven't tried counseling yet but I want to, need to. I went to a Christmas party last night and pretended to have fun. Didn't want to make people uncomfortable. Went home and cried. Everyone here says things will be better. They have been there. I listen to what they have to share. Keep coming here. I wish you peace and comfort.

The hospital social worker could set up home health care and that is usually covered by insurance. The doctor just orders it. Is a variety of help from bathing to fixing meals.

I've learned it is ok to just do what I can, when I can. Some days it is not much. I was a strong person before but not any more. This loss is just too much to bear. I hope you will take good care of yourself. Coming here helps, we are able to vent and release feelings, talk about what we are going through. I also am looking for a support group. I am having a hard time finding one. I wish you peace and comfort.

I am so sorry for your loss of your husband. I also lost my husband in September. I still cant even believe it. I understand the extent of your sorrow. I cry every day. I too had to cut back on work hours. I am just too exhausted plus crying all of a sudden. I am glad you found this place. It helps to know what we are going through and how we feel is what others are going through with us. I mean it is good to know I am not crazy. I just cant wrap my brain around the whole thing. I am glad you have family to help you. Just try and take one day, one hour or even one minute at a time. Remember we are all here for you, with you.

Kay, I will be with you too. I will be waiting to hear how you are doing. You are in my prayers. Before you know it you will be back home and on the mend. Do take it easy. We are holding you close.

Shalady

Before my husband got sick and died I would have never given it a second thought, we were just there for each other. Now, like you, I certainly would feel that total aloneness going through a major event like your surgery. We just aren't used to that. We never had to think about that. Of course you feel that way. I would probably stick his picture in my things to bring with me. Remember we are all here thinking of you, praying for you and sending you all the positive energy we have.

Shalady

I can so relate about the cards, people that don't know. It is so depressing. It just goes on and on.

I'm thinking of you too Kay. Wishing you well. Imagine all the help you would have if we all lived close by. That is good your daughter will be there to help the day after. I am sure you will leave everything all ready for your return. Your neighbor should be able to help you get settled in. Also sounds like your Arlie will be in good hands. We are all thinking of you.

Shalady

So glad all is going smoothly. Good to hear you are feeling better and stronger. It must so liberating to be able to get in the car again and go for a ride. Remember to rest and take it easy. Sending you positive thoughts and energy as you continue to recover.

Thank you Fae, it means so much when someone understands and knows these feelings as their own. It is mind boggling that our lives can turn upside down so fast. I am glad you were able to speak with your Goddaughter. She must be so happy that you are feeling better. How wonderful that she has a little girl of her own. I wish they didn't have to be so far away, but with all the technical advances you should be able to keep in touch. My good friend has a new granddaughter and she is just beautiful. She is a pleasant reminder that all is still right in the world, just not my world right now. A Yule Log thread is a great idea. I am sure many will want to share in that. Thank you again for listening. I again wish you well as you recover. Take good care, gets lots of rest.

Today is three months since I lost my beloved husband. It seems like days not months. I cried all day today. I am drained and exhausted. I miss him so much. I can't think of anything else but him, his handsome face, his smile. When I come home it seems to scream "empty" in here. Everything reminds me of him. Life is so precious, so short.

Harry, very good news. You are both in my prayers and I am sending positive energy......

Fae, Hope you are feeling better each day. Yes, I will be joining you and look forward to your sharing stories. This is my first without my Bob. He passed away late September so not sure what I am doing from one minute to the next. I get so much comfort coming here each day. I don't always post, some days just able to take it all in. I am very glad you are at home and surgery is behind you now. Take good care of yourself.

Bluelady, that is beautiful to get your Jim a card. What a wonderful way to honor him at this special time. I hope you will draw some comfort when you write your special message. Our life will never be the same but the love we share will never change, no one can take that away. I believe my Bob sends me signs, maybe just connecting, maybe just makes me feel better or maybe I'm crazy. I too have a few invitations. I plan on going, just hope I can do it. I still take one day at a time so I will wait until the day arrives and see how I feel. I've decided it is ok to put me first and hope others understand. Peace and comfort to you.

Sue, I agree with Kay. You could let your children know how you feel. If you are like me, taking one day at a time, everything beyond today is too much pressure. Try to do what is best for you. We spend our lives taking care of everyone, right now we have to take care of us. I've decided this is not selfish of me.

^{Oh Sue , I am so sorry you are going through first Christmas as well. And to have your BD added must be devastating. My Bob always fussed for mine too, but mine is very far off. I am glad you will have your children and grandchildren with you. The little one's innocence have a way of helping heal our hearts. When you need your 'alone' time just excuse yourself. Remember we don't have to apologize or explain anything. You have to take care of you. They will never really be able to understand how you feel. Only those who are going through this with you can do that. I know how deep sadness feels, I have never felt it before this. I wish you peace and comfort.}

Fae, I am so happy and grateful you are home and on the mend. It must be so relieving to be at home and I am glad you can recover there. There really is no place like home. You may not realize it but just hearing you are doing better is all we need to hear. That makes our hearts sing. So you get good rest and stay well. You are in my prayers.

I am so sorry this is your first Christmas too. Yes Rita, the dogs are a great comfort. They are very intuitive and seem to know when we need a little nudge or a cold nose on the arm, I don't know what I would do without him. Do you have any friends near that you could be with on the holiday? I do but I am not sure if I should just stay home and be sad or go out and be sad. I just don't like ruining other's day. I also don't like leaving Zach (the dog) home alone on the holiday. I think we just continue one day at a time and see. That is how I seem to get through. I can't think about the future, including tomorrow. I miss my husband so much. I look at pictures and still can't wrap my head around this reality. I have been reading the articles Marty suggests. I find it helpful. I hope you continue to come here and that you find comfort in knowing how much everyone cares. They have been through this and don't judge or question how or what we express. They validate our feelings and remind us is ok to feel this way. I hope you find peace and comfort.

Shalady

Sorry about the tailgate. Hope it isn't too bad. I'll say a prayer you're able to get that fixed, and soon. Things do have a way of piling on. You have enough to deal with right now. Good luck.

As the holidays approach I can't help but think of all of you missing your beloved. My Bob is gone less than three months now. I spent the whole day in the house yesterday, except for a few needed walks for my dog. I wish I could just stay home until January 2nd. This just seems to be the saddest time of all. But then each day has seemed like that. What is left of my family is far away so won't be getting together. I do have friends but hate burden them if I am feeling sad. I am still debating if I want to put up a little tree. The thought of seeing his favorite ornaments tears my heart out. May have to skip it. I was just wondering if the first Christmas was as hard for others. Thanksgiving wasn't so bad. I think his birthday in March and our wedding anniversary will be difficult too. I just don't know how I will make it through some holiday gatherings with friends that are going on. Do you go and muddle through or just stay home. This is so draining.

Harry, What a beautiful thing you are doing by sharing. I know it has to be so difficult and heart wrenching for you. My heart goes out to you. I wish you strength and peace as you continue.

Kay, just want you to know you are in my prayers. I know the coming weeks will be difficult and I hope you have a speedy recovery. Glad your daughter will be able to come and help. I am fairly new to this site, lost my husband in late Sept. I still find it amazing the strength I pull in from my visits here. Amid all of your health problems you still go on encouraging so many. I truly hope you feel all the powerful, positive feeling and concern going out to you. I too have a dog, a black lab named Zach. I truly do not know what I would do without him. Feel better.

Shalady

Happy birthday. Hope you have a wonderful day.

That truly is a meaningful quote. Really strikes home. We get up each day and go through the motions, but it is such a struggle. Sometimes I think this is just a nightmare and I will wake up and he will be there.