Marj37

Dear Marj,

Gb is so beautiful, and like Marty said, it's nice to hear your lovely voice. I know your own hurt is raw, so thank you for reaching out to me.

Every cat must have a box. That is an unwritten law, I'm quite sure, especially if you can believe a cat (and we do ~ sometimes). We used to have a cat named "D.G.," and he liked his box to be on top of our freezer. He could reach down and slap us on the head as we walked by. We should have known DG was going to be fun, because he was born on May 1 (May Day), a whole day after the births of his siblings.

D.G. was Amberly's cat. We got him from the manager of a business that Jerry automated when Amberly was ten. The manager and his wife, Garlan and Shirley, were friends of ours. On our way home, Amberly decided to name her cat Darling Garlan. Jerry told her that he absolutely refused to call that cat Darling Garlan, so she settled on "D.G." (Garlan loved the story, and enjoyed visits with his namesake).

Amberly and I had flown to the job site with Jerry in a little Cessna, so DG's first ride was in a plane. He wasn't afraid, and didn't get sick at all, and for these things, we were thankful. There's not much room to get away from a terrified cat in a Cessna.

I went back to the place where you posted "A Place in the Choir" by Celtic Thunder today, and Jerry and I listened to it today with hurting-but-happy hearts. How very appropriate this song is for so many of us at this time. Thank you again for posting it. I'm holding onto the belief that our babies do have a place in God's choir. Heaven is a very real place, and we will see them again. While we wait to be called Home, God gave us to each other for comfort. My heart is grateful for each one here.

I send you warm hugs,

Carrie

Thanks so much, Carrie for you wonderful D.G. comments. I cry buckets when I listen & sing along to the Place in the Choir, It's so purrfect for us who

have lost our special companions.

I love the idea of D.G. in a box on the freezer swatting as you all went by. It gives me a good giggle.

I can't even put into words how special it is to have soul companions on this raw and sometimes raging grief journey.

Some times grief rages like a stormy sea; other times it laps gently.

Thanks to all. And Marty for giving us this option with all the many "rooms" in the Grief Healing"

What a truly gorgeous cat! I love photos, but videos can be even more special. They paint a more complete picture & help solidify our memories. I know that having my videos of Chester has made me feel that I can more completely remember him. All of his mannerisms etc. i get anxious about the thought that I would forget him..or those special things that made him so wonderful. Like your GB. Thanks for sharing. :-))

Thanks. Exactly how I was feeling, Copperpot. I sure was happy to find my little videos. See him in action completely soliidfied Gb's memories for me......I was afraid

that I'd lose the movement as time went on - I do take time to image him in my mind. This will help. Thanks for looking and commenting.

He is a beauty, Marj ~ and how nice to hear your lovely voice!

Thanks, Marty

Oh you guys!!! I found my very old you tube movies by dint of Googling for the way to do i t.

And her is my beloved Gb. I'm so glad I found them because the files are long gone.

You can see his gorgeous face when he looks up!

Oh wow! Thanks for sharing that. I had forgotten you have a kitty. And 20! That is marvelous.

I sure miss all about my Gb kitty - his kitty kisses, his purrs, his body next to mine or on my lap, his antics, his

love of boxes.

And I cry buckets sometimes. Even thought about saving the tears and letting them dry and using it as sea salt. LOL

Yesterday when I was getting some treats that Hamish won't eat ready to donate I found one of the bags had

Gb teeth marks where he had gotten hold of it. So I'm saving that bag to put in his memory book.

I had to hide everything in bags that I brought in the house for them.....or he'd be right into tearing the

containers --- he even learned how to tip over the big plastic container I put the bags in and get the lid

off. Hamish always stood by ready to sample the goods.

Here's my box baby from a number of years ago!!!!! I found wonderful pics today on my old cds. Thankfully!!!!!

Sure you miss everything about Chester. He was an amazing part of your life.

And those moments of trauma sure do stay with us.

Some days I can barely stand it because I miss so much of my Gb kitty--------all those years, and kitty kisses and

purrs and snuggles and his silly fun antics.

Many cyber hugs

Ive decided, at least for now, to not pursue further exploration on the disease & everything involved. Just doing a bit more digging on my own made me extremely anxious & didnt give me any peace. I may change my mind though, doing a lot of that these days!

Hi - you will know what you need if you listen to your inner self. And then follow that path.

And sometimes knowing is helpful and sometimes it adds to anxiety like you have experienced.

We are here to support you even in our own sadness.

Thanks a million. Love the little movie. He sure was a wigglel butt. !

AND - a wonderful hole digger

Super photos you shared with us.

Hi --- I sure do agree with KayC. learn all you can about it. Even contact the vet and make an appointment for a consultation. It you make an appointment you

can even ask them to schedule you for the amount of time you think you need.

I sometimes get those same feelings about Gb. And it is a really strong emotion when it happens and I have to ride it out.

Intellectually I know I took super care of him --- but the emotions gets so tangled and I miss him so much all the day long since

the cute guy was always keeping me company around the house and the sweet memories do hurt when they are gone. Oh my!!!!

I thank each of you who have written to me here. I love all of you for your support. These days are difficult for us, and for you. We will hold onto each other, as we lift each other up. May God hold each of you tenderly. He is our hope, and our salvation.

Blessings,

Carrie

Thank you, Carrie. It a perfect place to let our hair down and tell our feelings. A definite priceless gift.

Love, love the story of Chest er flying through the air.

I saw one of those dogs being walked the other day and it was prancing instead of walking with it's person. So cute.

Thanks, Copperpot! The songs were so fun. The three little fishies song I changed to "two little kitties and their momma kitty too", and

so forth, "meowed and meowed as they ran around the dam".

The one that really makes tears when i even think of it is my version of How much is that doggie in the window.... "how much is that kitty in the window"---

-ending with "he's mine and he's not for sale".

I sure don't see that void changing --- we were so so fortunate to have special guys in our life with endearing personalities.

It was another rollercoaster day. It feels good to be able to come back here and share another Chester memory with everyone. In a way, since his life was so short, individual memories seem to have extra importance. Maybe in some small way its helpful to think at least these memories will live on. I dont know.

Todays memory. Chester loved to fetch. He didnt just love it, he lived for it. He would literally speak what sounded like semi words when he felt it was time for a throw. He was particular & loved bouncy rubbery balls. He didnt just chase the ball, he flew through the air. He did insane leaps. He loved to spin his body mid air, almost like a sideways flip. It was so crazy to watch. He wagged his tail every time he would give it back to you. We would throw until the level of saliva was "beard consuming". Then he would get a super sloppy drink & pass out on the floor, unable to keep his tongue in his mouth. It was a nightly ritual & one of things I miss so much, sometimes I can barely breathe. Even writing this was really rough, but I hope you all can appreciate the story anyways.

Magnificent pictures and dog. He was such a delight . And I know exactly what you mean about missing them so much you

can scarely breathe. Thanks for putting it into words.

What an amazing tale/tail, Thanks for the giggle.

Thanks - I look forward to taking time to listen to the discussion.

Were it only possible I'd have done hospice time with my Gb .

Thanks, Carrie.

I read about you and doggie - hope things go well for awhile .

Oh yes, Mary - I sure do agree. I miss Gb so much in all the little household routines.

I am losing words anymore and sometimes the words make him seem further away. Almost like

I want to be quiet and keep it in my heart .

This morning I was cleaning the landing by the side door where I'd take them in and out for a little fresh

air and there is the box Gb always went in to get his treat when we came inside. Without fail he knew that was

his treat place.

And Hamish always went to the 3rd step (which he still does).

And of course it is Sunday again - the day i watched him labor to breathe while I waited til my son got off

work so we could take him to that ER.

Hi - I find the need to comment on the topic of routine. Cats thrive on routine. I try to keep the routine the same

with my Hamish as I did when Gb was here. Food times, treat times, a little outdoor time, brushing time - I've kept

the same but with heavy heart as my Gb isn't here doing the silly things he did; and when I used his asthma inhaler & treats

I would sing to him kitty versions of a couple nursery songs and that was always after my teeth brushing time

am & pm. There is a gap now. I have no idea if Hamish misses those songs - but I can't sing them without sobbing.

And evening tv time has changed - always had two of them piled on me....now only 1. Sometimes now I change

to the other room because I am just too too sad, too wistful.

I've changed a few personal routines in a positive way. Knowing life is everchanging.

I agree about their eyes. Huge pools of love .

I have been on a serious negative note the past few days. So in an effort to try and lighten things up, here is a great memory I have about Chester. He used to LOVE to chase bunnies. He would wait in front of the door & his entire body would vibrate in anticipation. He was super fast, but they were always just a little faster he knew all their hiding spots. Even the one under our gas grill. He would search the entire yard every time he went out. Made a mess of my planting beds, but I really didnt mind. It was so fun to watch.

Such a great memory and picture - i can animate it in my mind.

My thoughts and prayers are being sent to your home, Carrie.

Pet loss from the perspective of an emergency/critical care veterinarian: Ivan Died Last Night ♥

Oh what a commentary. I cried thru all of it thinking of how soft and gentle the ER vet was when she

told me Gb had no quality of life and i agreed to the euthansia. I can see it all again. The

whole event is so clearly running thru my head. If only the rooms were not so sterile and

cold feeling -if only all our pets could have their last minute in our homes.

Thanks, Marty

Wonderful pics, mary. I'm so glad you posted them.

Pretty normal to feel wistful and sad.

Wistful is such a good word. Says volumes to me.