Marj37

It feels like an understanding family I've adopted.

My sons don't understand.

Here I don't feel like a crazy old lady.

Marj

May tomorrow be softer

May my soulmate stay close.

It has to be hard, remembering, and also seeing his brother suffer from his absence. I've watched pets grieve, Autumn when Midnight died, Lucky...when my husband died, Tigger when my husband died, Miss Mocha when Lucky died, etc. All I know to do is give them plenty of attention to help them through their grief & adjustment. It helps to go through it together.

Thank Kay....glad you are here.

Sunday afternoon

I'm really crying this afternoon. That night may24 we took him to the ER was the first time I'd ever been separated like that. He could barely breathe

when we got there and making horrible chest noises and they rushed him right back to the critical care------ put him in oxygen and did a chest xray ---

then the doc took me and showed me the awful xray

and I was able to pet him before I left. And i never got to hold him ever. the second night I was only allowed to pet him

thru the oxygen door and the 3rd night was told it was time to let him go........and i didn't get to hold him....the doc had him partially wrapped

in a towel and the iv in him.........I petted him and

kissed him and told him he was such a great kitty and I loved him.. And then he was gone.

Was so wrenching.

I can sit & imagine holding him in my arms and holding his lovely paw when he napped but he's gone until

we meet again. And it seems like it will be such a long time.

And his brother still is looking for him.

I hope my tomorrow is softer

I hope my soulmate Gb stays close

I love this song........always have and this is a favorite singing group.

Gave me a smile today in the midst of on and off crying.

I did go to our island state park in Detroit today - let the wind blow my hair; listen to the birds.

You can easily Google and find the lyrics.

Marj & Hamish and missing our Gb

May tomorrow be softer

May our soulmate always stay close

Maylissa,

I must be among the very few who feel like once their dog or cat has left them, that it's almost like they were never here. With Lucy, I had those couple of incidents that seemed to come from her, and with Allie, it was the violets and little blue flowers that I spotted in the yard right after we came home from the ER when we lost her. But since then, I don't feel their presence at all - it's like they were never here. It makes me really sad because at the same time, I miss them so much. Doesn't make sense, but that's how I feel.

Mary

Mary - I get that feeling and i get really scared.d

But I have so many photos of my Gb that are as precious as gold.

Marj

May tomorrow be softer

May our soulmate stay close always

23 days has passed since my Orabelle passed away and it still hurts. I understand what you are going through. There are times when I'm ok, but most of the time I'm grieving. I just cried again this morning with my husband (he is in Afghanistan) and asking him how come it's still hurting? I thought that as days go by, it'll be easier and it's not.

I'm glad you have here to post about your deepest feelings. Each one of us is important and each companion we hold dear is

our hearts is so missed when they have to leave.

Marj

"May our tomorrow be softer" and "May our soulmate stay close"

Oh my - that poem really hits "home".

Glad I came across it here today.

Tho I'd have a kitty shadow in the image it is marvelous.

Marj & Hamish missing our Gb

Thanks heaps, Mary. The flowers sound lovely.

I have Gb's picture and pawprint plaque, urn , etc. put in a space in the living room. And I ordered a pendant and chain

of a kitty in a box from an artist in California - he sent it right away and it lays by my heart. And I have some pussy willow branches that rooted so I will plant one of

them as a memorial tree in the yard.

I was just thinking how grateful I am that this group of people is here. A true gift. Not being able to express is a horribly lonely feeling.

Yes, just as your dogs are a part of your family unit, so were my 2 kitties (almost 15)

I don't even tell most people what happened. I don't want any more pain from remarks.

Marj and Hamish missing our Gb

Been reading the interesting conversations here about vets and also about not pushing yourself to heal. I like the upfront posts.

I had an epal write me yesterday that I was dwelling on the negative. That stung. Because she had told me to write whatever I wanted when Gb had to go.

My Gb kitty as only been gone 11 longs days.

Marj & Hamish and missing our Gb

Thanks, Kay ---- it sure does ouch!!!

This morning I went to our park and walked and walked until my hip flexors said "stop".

I hope that helps........my sleeping has really been bad in spite of my Yoga practice.

Some minutes I am way ok. Others I wonder how I will survive it.

And Hamish (Gb's brother) seems lost sometimes; other times he is ok. He's been sleeping where Gb

slept alot the last week he was at home with us.

I like this quote in a card I received. "May tomorrow be softer"

Marj & Hamish, missing our Gb

A reflection by Francis Weller ~

The Reverence of Approach

4/1/2015

Several years ago, I came across a passage by the Irish poet and philosopher, John O’Donohue. His words profoundly impacted my thoughts and have become somewhat of an interior anthem in my life. It feels fitting that we begin our series of reflections with his words. In his book, Beauty: The Invisible Embrace, O’Donohue writes, “What you encounter, recognize or discover depends to a large degree on the quality of your approach… When we approach with reverence, great things decide to approach us.”

This passage is so rich with implications. As I have sat with it over the years and offered it to others in my therapy work and in workshop settings, I have continually seen its wisdom and value. For example, when we turn our attention to the inner world, we frequently do so with an eye toward evaluation and critique. We look for flaws and defects, casting about for evidence of failure. This gaze is harsh and causes the soul to retreat. Over thirty years in my psychotherapy practice, I have never seen anything open or change in an atmosphere of judgment. An approach of reverence, on the other hand, is foundational to a life imbued with soul. From this way of seeing, we recognize that everything possesses a measure of the sacred, including our sorrows and pain. Clearly, how we approach our inner life profoundly affects what comes to us in return.

What we encounter, recognize or discover, depends on the quality of our approach. An approach of reverence invites revelation. To pause and reflect on this can make all the difference between living in a cold, detached world, populated primarily by judgements and cynicism, and living in a world riddled with intimacy and offers of communion. When our approach is one of reverence, we find ourselves falling into a deeper embrace with all that is open to encounter, both internally and in the surrounding, breathing world. If we approach superficially or from a perspective of what can I get out of this exchange, then the encounter will be limited, what I recognize will be thin and what I discover will be nothing at all. I will simply be meeting my own well-rehearsed stories in the moment.

There is an intimation in O’Donohue’s passage: He tells us that great things will approach us when we practice the etiquette of reverence. It is as if the aperture of our perception widens when we bring reverence to bear. We become able to recognize the holiness that exists in the moment, as I experienced this morning on my drive to work. As I came around a bend, winding through vineyards and meadows, the mist was threading its way at the base of the hills and in that glimpse something great approached me. I was moved by the vista, brought to tears through the intimacy shared between my heart and the world.

An approach of reverence establishes a foundation ripe for amazement. We are readied for surprise and awe by a posture of reverence. It is a stance of humility, recognizing that the otherness that surround us—that infuses the world—is vast and powerful and yet curiously open for connection. An approach of reverence invites the mystery of encounter where two solitudes meet and become entangled, creating aThird Body, an intimacy born of affection. All true intimacy requires an approach of reverence, a deep regard, an unknowing of who or what we are meeting. It is our bow honoring the exchange.

O’Donohue advises us, however, that “The rushed heart and arrogant mind lack the gentleness and patience to enter that embrace.” We must be able to step out of the frantic and breathless pace that consumes much of our days. Reverence requires a rhythm akin to prayer. We are asked to slow down and rest in the space of silence and deep listening. There is a saying in the Zen tradition, “Not knowing is most intimate.” When we suspend our preconceptions and static stories of who we are, or who our wife, husband, or partner is; when we let go of our predetermined expectations of how it all should be, then we come into a place of reverence, of deep respect and the freshness of the encounter is once again available to us. When we pause and notice, we are free to drink in the delicious thickness of the moment and all that it offers.

Reverence, rather than expectation or entitlement, acknowledges we live in a gifting cosmos and that we do best-honoring creation by singing praises. As the poet Rilke said, “To praise is the whole thing! A man who can praise // comes toward us like ore out of the silences // of rock.” Reverence acknowledges that what we are seeing or seeking is holy; that we depend utterly on this world to breathe and to dream.

We are designed for encounter, our senses are rivers of connection in a continuous exchange with the world around us. How deeply we experience this encounter, what we come to recognize and discover, is a question of presence, of reverence.

Exercise:

Inner work: Experiment with reverence over the coming days. Be mindful of how you approach your inner world. Is it characterized by criticism and judgment? Imagine coming to your experience with reverence, especially around our more vulnerable states like fear or grief. Notice the difference when you come to your experience with reverence. Take ten minutes and write about your experience.

Outer work: Take a walk and let something call to your attention—a tree, a rose, a budding maple, an old barn. Soften your gaze and let the qualities of reverence fill your being. Simply notice what takes shape between the two of you. Allow the connection to come full and then offer your gratitude for the encounter. Remember, everything is open to the conversation. Take ten minutes and write about your experience.

Wonderful to read this and think about. Thank you.

I sure would wonder also.

Marj & Hamish and missing Gb kitty

I sure hope this sadness doesn't get any worse. I can go about my usual routines and my yoga class but then in between moments

I miss Gb so much. That rascal was so imprinted on my heart. And his love and antics and lovingness and simple joy of being.

I've been writing my journals and trying to play with Hamish a bit . Hamish is a more reserved quiet kitty - and affectionate like Gb

Marj & Hamish & missing our Gb

We WILL meet again! ...my Soulmate, my best friend, thru all time

Kay ---- I just love this quote. I count on it every minute.

I am sending prayers and healing thoughts to you, dear Marj.

I hope this is the book you were thinking of; I've read it myself, and I think it's wonderful: Purr Prints of the Heart: A Cat's Tale of Life, Love and Beyond, by Deborah Barnes.

Thanks so very much, Marty! This is such a wonderful good forum you have created. Yes, that is the book you posted on someones words that I saw.

And thanks for the prayers and healing thoughts. I have a couple loss books but not one based on cats, they are general animal companion loss

books so i wanted to get into this one. I'll order it from Amazon now.

Marj and Hamish missing our Gb

The 3rd of June

The house seems so empty without my live wire Gb kitty. His bro is a very laid back kitty so it's like a pall has descended.

I cry so much now and then.

I wish I could find his smell--------his body had such a beautiful unique smell just like Hamish' has.

I saw a new pet loss book mentioned when I was reading some of the posts here and now I can't find it.

Send me prayers and healing thoughts to SE Michigan

Marj and Hamish & missing our Gb

We WILL meet again! ...my Soulmate, my best friend, thru all time

I love your quote. I'm sitting here looking at his picture on my other monitor.

I just keep wondering how it can be .

June 1

One week tonight that Gb left my world.......I wish for his spirit to hover here so much.

I miss him deeply. I loved every hair on his body, his beautiful eyes, his rascalness, his lovey-ness.

Marj & Hamish and missing or Gb guy.

My heart thanks you that have responded. Such a great place where no one puts on pressure and no cliches.

Grief oozes out of every pore in my body. And my eyes need pampering from crying.

Thanks for the prayers, Orabell --- you are also newly wounded --- and I send prayers to your heart.

And thank you Carrie and Kay for the caring words. To have people who realize the bond that grows as we live with these

fur kids and how the bond breaks and how it hurts makes a soft place to come.

Thanks again,

Marj 37 with Hamish and missing Gb.

I totally understand 100% how our bodies can miss our companion kitty.

I miss mine also.

And all your words aboslutely resonate. i was happy to find your words

as I've been feeling much the same since I let my Gb go on the 27th.

love his name and he is beautiful still in your mind and in the photo.

Marj37

Hello

I have such a sad heart. The pain feels ACUTE. On Tuesday evening (May 27) at the Oakland ER they told me

Gb would never be able to breathe outside the oxygen cage. We took him there late Sunday, May 24) with cough

and labored breathing (he'd had mild asthma for 8 years that got worse the last couple months), he hadn't

been eating, was so lethargic, etc. My vet was out of town. His chest xray looked like lots of spots and other stuff.

By Tuesday night when we went to visit he was so frail, could barely life his head and the doc

said his quality of life was not good at all. I felt like screaming then .

I miss him so much. Everywhere I turn I see him. He and bro Hamish would be 15 in July. I've had them since they were we wee kittens, rescues,

and could hold them in my hands. Brown tabbys, as loving as could be. Gb was the happy go-lucky one even at

his age until a couple weeks ago.

This looks like a wonderful forum to be at. I've looked at others. All I do is mostly cry when I'm not with Hamish; I really want to scream.

I hope Hamish will be ok.

And the two guys were always together; herding around the house, eating at the same time, sleeping on my bed; napping in the

same vicinity.

Feels like I'm saying too much ..........or not enough.

I'm a senior woman; the 2 kitties and I were a close family unit, 24/7 all these years. I loved being with them.

Marj (attached a pic of the 2 of them waiting for me to give them dinner)