little bird

Froggie, I have been reading your posts and finally felt compelled to respond because my husband's name was also Mark, I too live in Houston, and I too have a dog name Annie. My Mark died of cancer 6 months ago at age 63. Like you we thought that we had many more years together ahead of us. Unlike you, however, we had a warning and we knew he only had a few months left to live. I was able to talk to him about our life together, about how we both felt about his dying , and to tell him how much I loved him. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you to have had your Mark snatched away so suddenly and so unexpectedly. Our pain and grief feels similar I'm sure, but different too. You have a job and I'm retired. Sometimes I think if I were working this grieving would be much easier because it would force me to get out of my house and it would force me to be around other people and would force me not to think so much about my loss. But I don't know if that's true; it's just that the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. I don't think there's really any softer, easier way through this pain. It's simply one day at a time. This is a great forum. I've just begun reading it and posting to it and I've already found tremendous wisdom and solace here. By the way i'm so sorry that your little Annie is no longer with you. My Annie sends you warm woofs from her heart. little bird

I am so grateful to be able to communicate with people who know the nature of grief from personal experience. Both the response from hollowheart and the one from kayc brought me solace because you totally get it. Truthfully, down deep I believe that I'm completely exhausted and that I'm escaping from life right now by sleeping all the time. I know I need to do at least one small thing each day, but I haven't been able to manage it so far. I think I needed to hear that others have felt like sleeping all the time so I could know I'm not alone in that behavior. Feeling alone and feeling like I'm doing this grieving thing wrong because I'm lazy or weak ... those two thoughts/emotions have been really hard on me. Thank you for your feedback. It's immensely helpful.

I have the opposite problem. My husband died six months ago and all I do is sleep. Ten to twelve hours at night and then back to bed for a long nap around 3pm. What is wrong with me?