Jump to content

Froggie4635

Contributor
  • Content Count

    665
  • Joined

  • Last visited

2 Followers

About Froggie4635

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/30/1962

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    Wife
  • Date of Death
    12/04/2014
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Houston, TX
  • Interests
    My fur babes: Pongo, Hannah and Max; music, art, Pinterest. Am hoping as this journey continues, my interests will grow.

Contact Methods

  • Yahoo
    maryann7022@yahoo.com

Recent Profile Visitors

2,235 profile views
  1. https://www.amazon.com/gp/f.html?C=Z9SQXHR9LXA4&M=urn:rtn:msg:20190323213710c01e7f97cc4741419084108e2940p0na&R=242JZFX0SQVSK&T=C&U=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fauthor%2Fmaryannmueller%3Fref_%3Dpe_1724030_132998060&H=KPTHTN7C23KNEGQHNINMJUHHVXUA&ref_=pe_1724030_132998060 Here is the link to Amazon.
  2. Wanted to share with all my friends here on the forum. I wouldn't have been able to do this without all the help and support from each and every one of you.
  3. Tomorrow would have been my 10th wedding anniversary, and I lost my husband, Mark in December 2014. I now have someone new in my life, and it brings on all sorts of feelings; happy, warm, yet something is also missing. For the past four Valentine's I have really just tried to ignore it...turned my eyes away when I saw the displays and advertisements for roses and hearts & flowers. Just didn't want to think about it...the things I enjoyed about the holiday were gone. But now, I want to have that feeling again; to want to shower someone with love and let them do the same for me. This will be a year of adjustments. I am so lucky that he understands and gives me all the room I need to have all these different feelings...he knows that Mark will FOREVER be a part of my life, and that means he will also be a part of "our" life as a couple. It's one of those things that you have to move your way through with no real suggestions on how to do it. I'm happy again. I know that Mark has something to do with it...and that makes me smile.
  4. Anne, We have developed this special bond....and I always look to your warm words of wisdom and care. I will come back to this post when it seems I need a little nudge to get back on track when I find myself straying a bit from my journey. Maryann
  5. I understand this so much more, now that I have found someone new to walk with. He understands my loss, and what it did to my life and honors Mark right along with me. Ken wanted to try and understand more, so he could be supportive of me and losing Mark; he went online and read as much as he could about what happens when someone becomes a widow. I was so very touched by that. Today is four years I lost Mark, and my emotions are just beneath the surface...but it makes it easier knowing there is someone who will accept my grief and support me in every way possible. I feel blessed.
  6. Four years ago today, my life took a direction I had never anticipated. My husband, Mark died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack...ripped out of my life with no notice. These four years have been a journey of learning about myself and finding new meaning and a "new normal". I know that Mark would be so proud of me, and still walks along with me as I make my way. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and we loved each other very much. It has become easier to smile more, but this solemn day reminds me how very precious life is and to value each person who enters it and make sure they know that they are loved and appreciated.
  7. Life moves along, sometimes so quickly that you don't have time to acknowledge all the things that are going on. I am still dealing with the after affects of my car accident, and it is approaching a year. I am meeting with a therapist for a few sessions; part of the treatment for my accident, and perhaps to show some emotional distress. Am finding out how VERY attached I was to my car and all the memories and importance it held in my life...pretty significant. I was forced to give it up, just like I was forced to give up Mark when he died. I had a stronger connection to it than I do to my house...if you can believe that. I recently allowed a friend to move in because she was in a truly horrible situation, and I couldn't continue to allow it to happen. It has been a major adjustment over the last two weeks; I know that I need to encourage and push her to begin to help herself as she has safety and peace now. On a more positive note, over the past month I have been getting to know someone who has plans to relocate to Houston before Thanksgiving. He is the first man I have met that "gets it" in regards to being a widow and how it affects your life forever. We both kind of agree that Mark has brought this man to my life...he is so similar to Mark in many ways, but also very different and will add so much to my life. I am so much stronger than I have been in a very long time. I started dressing better, wearing make up and walk with a confidence I have not had in a long time. Yesterday I received news that a former colleague, who we worked closely with in our office, lost her battle with breast cancer; the first person I have known on such a level to die since Mark, and I am trying to deal with the feelings and emotions it is presenting at this time. But I get through each day, and keep moving forward...always aware of all that is going on.
  8. It still amazes me the signs and messages. Life has been changing so very much and I still know that he is there watching.
  9. I just got the CD and loaded the songs on my iPod that I take to work....when this song came on, I smiled with tears in my eyes. Monday was three years that Mark has gone.
  10. Like Marty, I can't find the words. My heart just hurts so very much for Butch and his family.
  11. I went in to volunteer at work for a bit...they are collecting and dispersing all sorts of supplies for people in need. I went to see some of my co-workers and colleagues. There were so many people there and so much going on it was a little overwhelming. I know there will be other chances to help. I do better in situations behind the scenes. I still have a difficult time being around a lot of people at once.
  12. Had a conference call with all the staff at the JCC. Water damaged the electric and air conditioning systems. There was 12 - 15 feet of water entered the lower level. We were reassured that we will not lose our jobs, and will continue to get paid. They could not even begin to give us a possible date where staff could be in the building. I tried to go to Target and purchase some items to donate to the clean up that needs done for staff, members and the community. I drove down a street not far from the JCC, and saw so much of the devastation people are dealing with...stuff that had to be pulled from their homes. The traffic lights were flashing, and I was nervous so I just picked up some items at Target and came back home. We are all in contact, as a family would be, and are supporting each other in whatever way we can. I took a complete break from all the news today...I needed it.
  13. Saw some pictures from where I work...8 feet of water on the bottom floor. So many of those I work closely with have had flooding in their home; one is going to move away and not try and rebuild. Mark's family is at various locations and a few are worried about flooding from one of the rivers. I've stopped watching any of the news stories about the evacuees; it just hurts my heart too much right now and is overwhelming. I relied so much in my "normal" schedule to help keep me in a positive frame of mind. I miss the daily interaction with my friends and colleagues. I know there are so many people who are going through so much worse than I am. and I still feel blessed I was kept safe. I knew there was a reason why we chose this house when we walked through the door that first time. I continue to work in the house and take advantage of this time off. Looking at the weather forecast, seems to be some cooler fall weather coming next weekend. Also looking at another possible tropical disturbance. I continue to stay in touch with friends and colleagues, to try and keep their spirits up.
  14. I finally ventured out...needed food for my babies. Wasn't sure if my usual store was open, so went to one I know was open, near my mother in law. Waited a little until it opened and guess who showed up...my MIL. When I got out of the car, my knees felt shaky. I think I am just now feeling the release of the anxiety from the last 4 days. I have become such a creature of habit and routine. Has been how I have dealt with things since Mark died. I feel the urge to go and help others, but financially it is rough and my back is still hurting from the car accident and not sure how long I could stand or what I could lift. Makes you feel helpless at times to see so much hurt.
×
×
  • Create New...