I am so sad for you. All the plans you had together--gone in a moment. Such a shock! I appreciate your feelings. I lost my 31-year-old daughter to cancer in 2009 and my husband, after various illnesses over a dozen years, in December 2013. It's hard to wrap your mind around this new stage of life. Some things have helped me. One is my other children, especially my other daughter, who have been very supportive. I'm glad you can be near your children. Do you have grandchildren? If not, I hope there will be some one day. Sweet little ones are such a comfort. Their grandfather will live on in them. Another help was a griefshare support group at my church. The 13-week program was full of insight and useful suggestions. These groups meet all over the country and you may be able to find one near you at griefshare.org. Most recently, a weekly Bible study was about Heaven. It lifted my spirits to think about reunions there, and how beautiful it will be, there with Jesus. I am also working on a project, a book about my life. So I am going through old records, journals, papers, and relishing some good memories. It helps to see reminders that my daughter had a happy childhood, or that my husband and I shared so many precious times. I am trying to focus on the good memories, and be grateful for them. It helps get me through those dark moments. I pray that even at this difficult holiday season, you will find some peace as you begin to adjust to this different life.