Lexilou

I'm going to listen to the EMDR video. Thank you for recommending it. Thank you. All of your comments, opinions, stories, reading material, are very helpful. Just knowing I'm not alone in how I feel is the most comforting.

I'm going to listen to the EMDR video. Thank you for recommending it.

I just downloaded a book by Karen Anderson called Afterlife. I am looking forward to reading it. I'm hoping to relate and get some insight that will help me feel ok about where my Lexi is in her journey. I need something to direct my attention to something more comforting. I hope this helps.

Thank you Marty. I know it was innocent. It's just the freakiness of it all. I have to believe it was meant to be for some reason beyond my comprehension. I would give anything to erase the tape that plays in my head over and over every day. Seeing her like that. I just can't not keep seeing it. I'm so glad I found this site. I have been reading the articles and they are comforting and helping me understand my emotions.

Thank you so much kayc. I so appreciate your kind words. Thank you for the video, it made me cry of course, but not in despair. I will read the articles you sent, thank you for those too. I'm very sorry for your painful loss. I try to think that maybe there is a reason my Lexi went the way she did. That maybe she was headed into sickness and I wouldn't be able to fix her. That maybe a long road of pain and discomfort lie ahead. I want there to be a reason for this tragedy. I thank you again for replying to me. I will look at the articles and post about them later. Thank you Marty. I appreciate the articles. I'm struggling with guilt. If only I would have taken that empty box of cereal out to the trash, she would be here. I struggle with her death being possibly extremely painful and agonizing. That is what makes the weight on my chest so very heavy. I feel so much guilt. And I miss her desperately. I am lost.

Thank you so much kayc. I so appreciate your kind words. Thank you for the video, it made me cry of course, but not in despair. I will read the articles you sent, thank you for those too. I'm very sorry for your painful loss. I try to think that maybe there is a reason my Lexi went the way she did. That maybe she was headed into sickness and I wouldn't be able to fix her. That maybe a long road of pain and discomfort lie ahead. I want there to be a reason for this tragedy. I thank you again for replying to me. I will look at the articles and post about them later.

I lost my 13 yr old border collie 2 days ago. It was a tragic accident and I can't unsee how she was when I found her. Its hard to even type the words. I want to see her full of life and see the happy memories. But all I see is her huddled in a corner with a plastic cereal bag around her head. She suffocated. I put an empty box of lucky charms next to the trash, which I have done a hundred times before, she has never messed with trash when I'm gone. I feel responsible and I am struggling to even go an hour without crying. My chest hurts and it's hard to even breathe. We had a very close bond. I can't imagine my life without her. Does anyone have any suggestions for coping?