Stallyn

Corinne,

Ohhh my goodness, LOL I am laughing right now too, yea hes at the curb begging for cash to pay his medical bill Oh noo now you are taking pills now, Wellebutrin is a very good medication,with little side efx. Supposes to help smoking cessation also. I take it myself I forgot several days on/off of my meds, somehow I forgotten to fill the pillbox. I don't picture you being grouchy.

Wendy, Please no more tattoos, it was painful, ugh, what would it be with santa with his eyes X'ed out? wouldn't look good on me..That is a really nice gesture of him to do that for you, are you nudging Melissa to marry him? very handy to have a guy around to build anything, I could use the services too.

((((Hugs)))

Wendy, its ok, you probably seen me miss many many posts for some reason, mail gets lost or in my junk folder, ugh, I didn't know you had a daughter? did I miss something? thats great! I would say I *might* put up a string of lights and I always enjoyed putting up a tree but not this year, I be putting it down in perhaps 2-3 weeks. It feels so strange, everything still goes on for everyone but ourselves. Hopefully we won't see the jolly guy saying ho-ho-ho and a big smile, I might just punch him out LOL. I know, it just is not right,

Love,

William

Lyn, I think thats the only picture I can look at, when we were newlyweds and roughing it out. it was a "perfect" moment in time, when nothing went wrong. I have a picture of us before she fell gravely ill and I can't look at it in the bedroom so I just set it face down. Maybe that part of you knows just a little is ok right now, you will know when its the time, how frustrating not knowing when is the issue.

Thank you Karen, I appreciate the compliment, we almost looked alike huh? I had my session today and I just cried and cried, buying a house is bittersweet, how much I wished it was the both of us, I miss her so much. I may be in the moving process before the holidays and it gives me a valid reason NOT to spend it with my father I am ok, been busy doing nothing LOL

Love ya!

William

Hmmm Movie stars? yes that was us when we were first married I wish I had more of them, we were dirt broke back then. thanks for the compliment I know the same feeling too, its always under every thought or emotion, you seem better today. Almost another weekend, ugh..

Love,

William

With love Always Lyn, I felt like it was time to look at that picture and reveal it,the way she was, not the way she passed, for my own peace of mind also. its been a long road for many of us, somehow, someway we made it this far, I didn't think I would make it either, sometimes I still have idealation that its just seems better. Kay, you been strong before and continue on and we are never the same, you got a long life ahead of you, believe me, at my age I feel worn out and just plain out of gas. maybe grief has morphed into something like that, do you feel so distant from reality most of the time? Like a a bubble surrounding us? Kay, I wish I could open a door for you to walk in and experience joy that we all sorely miss. Perhaps being here, reading and posting gives you a small measure of renewal. I always feel warmth emanating from you.

With love my dear friends,

William

Wendy,

We are nearly on the same page of loss, it feels I moved on but have not, its bittersweet to have to move out of this place without my dear one, how many time s I prayed she would say something to me, or how much it hurts to continue on without any answers. I understand now why you chose the way you did, We limit God to only what we can do, but many others have gifts to serve others and to comfort, Bob said it well, Churches don't want competition, it cuts into their pockets, but I rarely ever see any pastor or minister attempting to understand or utilize the gifts of the likes of Christine. They merely draw attention to themselves and what good does that serve? Love is freely given, and it takes many forms. I am blessed to have known you.

Love,

William

LOL Bob, you got that right, we used to rebuke anything that moved, now I just ignore them spirits than to give them any time. Importantly the knowledge of angels at watch is more of a comfort then to think the evil is lurking. funny about the crucixes, I believed at one time it was a measure of protection. now prayer just does it.

Wendy,

I apologize again if I got carried away with my comments, it was of concern but a mistake. I respect your feelings and if it brings comfort to you to talk to Christine, most importantly it is what you needed. I hope the end result of this is not bitterness. I have had many similar things and then some, bulbs blew out in the bathroom twice, glasses "fell" off the sink and broke, the other day I was washing dishes and placed a glass on top another and it just cracked for no logical reason, even my counselor was witness to lights blinking or doors moving. Sorry..

Yes, I stand with Bob, We love you.........

Karen,

yes and I got maybe 40 more years of it, its neat when things happen positively around the house, Its a mix here, even when Myrna was alive things tend to happen alot, sometimes a demon would stand by the bed near her, or the thermostat was set down to 62 Deg, luckily at those times I didn't question the paranormal, lately I been experiencing odd things, this morning I woke up screaming, something having to do with battling demons, many of them were crowded around me attempting to take my life in a dream or ? I woke up and felt a sinister presence next to the side where Myrna used to sleep.

Bob, I may have the shorts too, I believe I may have witnessed more demonic activity than good in many places back when, and maybe it was result of my beliefs. I stand with you, science is mans way of salvation, and their motives are for personal gain, at the cost of someones wife or husband, I lost so much faith in doctors after her death, and indeed she communicated to me many times after her death, however is it possible we do not remember the communication consciously to risk denial or shame.

mediums, oddly they are something w/o a category, it can be said maybe we all are in some form or another, I have made predictions and it came to pass, or knew something was to happen hours before it occur, but I would not consider myself a medium or offer it as a service. Then again, strange things happened to me all my life, more than I care to reveal.

There was times I be driving down the street, and feel immense pressure on my chest, only to find I passed a palm reader, or somehow they find me. temptation often nudges me to walk in, but I feel if to do so, would open a door that is difficult to close.

If so called prophets or spiritualists speak something beneficial to humanity and without compensation, it would be more accepted perhaps.

It's enticing though to make some income in such a manner, but I couldn't do it for too long without feeling gutless.

Karen,

I feel the connection too, what we experience and learn, wow, to talk to you knowing where I am coming from is a relief *sigh*

Danny is on the right course now, isn't it amazing what a little medication can help a person, especially his diagnosis is tricky to treat, I hope they treat him right. I have gone into a retirement about 4 years ago from most things I used to enjoy, with bipolar and chrohns it is very complicated to know what day is good or not. Sometimes they collide and I get sick to my stomach. I am doing ok financially, but its not much, going tomorrow to reevaluate my financial goals and try to stretch another $150 to my monthly quota.

Bittersweet every day, yes, its so hard to allow ourselves to feel good. I miss the support she gave me, and so many quirks that made me laugh.

Karen,

I had a big smile hearing from you!! We understand each other, where can we get that?

Guys,

maybe I went off the top end, I am sensitive to objects and people around me, and it was fear for those opening a door, Perhaps allowing our spouses to reach us is the key, when I did not look, things happened around me frequently. Out of concern for those that seek the mediums or shamans, there is a price to be paid for that service. I shall pray for you that need a sign, God will do according to his will.

So she charges for the consultations? that in my opinion, (no offense) is unbiblical, the bible states the gifts from God are not to be profited on, it is an abomination, Don't we all have the ability to pray and seek answers w/o the use of a medium? I think that is dangerous ground to ponder in, I state this after years living in the charismatic movement with faith healers, prophets that mislead. and believing in anything that they said including messages from the deceased. What is your take on this Bob?

Suzanne,

I seen many things without logical reason break on its own, does not make real sense.

Is Christine a believer in Christ? I was wondering, perhaps I'll give her a buzz

and see what she knows. Somehow I think my loss has heightened the ability to sense spirits. It is very disturbing at times, but the bible mentions many spiritual gifts. and every Christian has at least one, I have at least 4. But I don't want to tread in unknown territory.

Lyn,

Soo true, your empathy is a strong ability and it shows in your posts, No matter what, you did right above the darkness and shined a light upon all of us here, perhaps that is ONE of your purposes.

Derek, I believe power in numbers with prayers, and sometimes I find myself feeling a prayer being said on my behalf. The devil likes to remind me that I am sinking, but do I listen to such a evil mind? sometimes obliviously but the faith is much stronger, even if we don't feel it.

Kay,

if we could rub a budda or summon a genie just to make the holidays "enjoyable" though impossible would be a nice christmas gift. I'll find a pond and throw a quarter in it with a wish we will do a-ok this holidays

Teny,

I hope for you to feel better, I also did not have time to close my life with Myrna, she died days after departing to her homeland, all the time before I thought she is coming back. but it didn't work that way, or any way I expected. just as fast as life goes, she passed without a word to me. what you feel, you may be in touch with yourself, I however have not been the same person, or experienced true joy, just existing day to the next with out a care anymore. But God does care, we wake up and go about doing what we need to do, with a courage that is by not by pills or a bottle, that itself is Love from our spouses and God. Heres a hug

(((((HUG)))))

William

Wendy,

I fear putting up the tree this year, since likely it won't be up for long, I plan to set it up in my new home next year and devote it to her memory, I also am thinking of making a memorial in the yard to make up for the desire to visit her. It may have the starfish shape of the treetop. Somehow if I did put up the tree, wouldn't my friends think I am crazy? or "over it"? I read your other post, how were you able to contact her?

Kay,

been find that too, people get tired of hearing it and I hate filling the papers with the marital status of 2 choices, married/single? why not widowed? The memories are always there. this may be crazy but if I had it a way to have my possessions with her name jointly I still would, the pages look blank without her name in it.

Wendy,

wow you finally got answers to your questions, interesting about the phone, always something happens when you are talking about them, did I tell you some time ago my torchiere was blinking rapidly while my counselor was here, and I learned they can also guide us with angels to make crucial decisions, I read some of her works and very intriquing. Now you will have your faith to lead you, Awesome!!!! feel free to IM me if anything else happens, I'd like to know softly

P.s do you have things break apart for no reason? like drinking glasses or things falling gently and shattering?

Love,

William

Art, I can certainly relate to that feeling or perhaps its something more, I walk around feeling a sign above my head saying "unhappy and miserable-don't tread on me" my take is maybe we become more aware of ourselves and feel isolated from the outer world. Its a efficient coping mechanism than to resort to other random acts of error. I been alone almost 9 months now and like yourself, we beat the odds thrown against us, we had a long distance relationship for 8 months that lasted 8 years, regretfully too short for me, now in my middle age with regret.

William

Suzanne, I was wondering where you were, ugh the first segment of the holidays is done, I am glad everyone is doing good, I myself have been in medicated daze, but it better than the mood swings. I miss the company here, Wendy, that scary you mentioned the star, Myrna bought one from Guatemala when she first arrived and I don't plan putting up a tree this year, lest something happens.

Love,

William

Corinne,

We made it though one holiday I feel ok, been taking the meds, even though my chrohns is being a pain. Oh well...

Love,

William

Corinne,

I know, we can be in a room of people and feel so alone, we are a different part of society where no one understands our loss.

I am feeling better today, the chrohns has slowed down a bit, every anniversary day of the month and now holidays I get sick. Does it happen to you?

Corinne,

I am doing ok as long I don't think about my plight, has been difficult, peace has encompassed me somehow, I only imagine the tree and ornaments are a sad reminder, but you are handling it fine today, it would be nice if we could sleep until the holidays are over LOL, I will pray for you, that peace will abound right now, there will be comfort in the life around you, I pray for a sign for you. Thanks for posting to me, I felt so lonely today, I did take my meds

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Your friend,

William

Bless you Deborah, it helped top come here and read this, many hugs!