PattyAnn

You're not venting...you are just feeling some very raw true emotions. It's amazing how something as innocuous as the Super Bowl can trigger painful memories. It's hard living with the loss and grief while others are out celebrating. My heart is with you and I hope you find a way to make the time less painful.

Since my husband died, sometimes it feels like I have been transported into a parallel world, only everything is opposite of what it should be! Life was oh so good with Walter...now everything seems no so good. I count my blessings each day, but you know how it is to miss your spouse so very much you feel like you could shatter. Yes, I will hang in there but I'm trying to find ways to treat my mind into feeling better. Thanks for responding! It does help!

Just wondering what each of you do when things really pile up on you like grief, bills, keeping the business going, difficult elderly mother, leaky kitchen sink, etc). Sometimes it feels like the universe is throwing everything at me all at once. Adjusting to being a widow is daunting enough, but all the other gazillion things that I now have to contend with really add to the stress. Just wondering if any of you have found ways to deal with the daily stresses that we now face without our spouses. Breathing exercises and prayer are all I know to do. Also, calling up a friend, but I can’t keep doing that. Don’t want to wear out my welcome with them. Any suggestions?

Oh, good for you, Kathy! I'm with you in spirit cheering you on!

It just seems sometimes the grief is so tremendous that I feel like I could shatter. Grief for my husband sure has turned out to be different than any other emotions I have ever felt before. I had no idea I could hurt this badly. It has turned my world upside down and I can't seem to right myself yet. I appreciate your kind words and wisdom. Thanks everyone! I'll keep trying.

On the 27th of this month my husband will have been gone 5 months. It seems like it's getting harder, not easier as time goes on. Most of the people who have helped now feel I should be "getting on with life". I do...I get up everyday, I tend to our business, I eat properly, I exercise, etc. But the pain I feel of missing my husband seems to be getting worse. Anyone else have this happen to them. I thought time was supposed to help but I hurt so badly. People tell me that I have my memories of my husband. That's fine, but it doesn't soothe the searing pain of Walter not being here with me. I miss everything about him. The sound of his footsteps, his laugh, his voice....everything. I keep going no matter what, but I had hoped that there would be some relief from this emotional pain by now. Thanks for listening.

Boy, I'm with you on this one....it is a hard and bumpy road. This is my first New Year's without my husband. It seems like people who haven't gone through something like this just don't understand. I've been told "just get over it!" What? Are they kidding? I never dreamed I would be alone without my husband at this time. But here I am. It's been hard watching people celebrate as though life were one big party. I'm happy for them, but....well, you know. Life is forever changed for us. All I know how to do at this point is just keep putting one darn foot in front of the other and hope I can find the strength each day to endure. So I am so sorry for your pain and aloneness. I have deep compassion for you and I wish something or someone will come into your life to give you peace and happiness. I truly do! Best Wishes, Patty

Kim, Thanks for your nice message. I am so sorry for the lose of your Dan. It's been four months and it's still a shock isn't it? My head tells me my husband is no longer here, but my heart still can't accept it! Yes, the holidays have been like climbing a slippery slope. One minutes I think I can handle it, the next minute I can't. Like everyone keeps saying, time will heal us, but in the mean time it sure hurts clear to my soul. Please know that I care about your pain and I am with you in spirit! Love, Patty Ann

Thank you all for your kind wishes. I'm glad the birthday is over, and now struggling, as you all are, to get through Christmas. The few friends I have are all headed out of town. Never thought I would end up this way. Life was so good and then it was changed forever. I know I'll get through this but I had no idea how hard it would be for those of us in grief over losing our beloved husband or wife. I'm learning from you all. Thank you so much! I wish you the best.

I have lost other family members through the years, but losing my husband has really brought me to my knees. It's so mind boggling to have your beloved husband with you one minute and gone the next. I still have that electric shock run through me every time I realize that he is gone. Intellectually I know time will help, but now the pain is still so intense. The holidays, weather, loneliness makes it worse. I'll endure, just like the rest of you. I hope I can help someone else as my pain starts to lift. Knowing that you also are in grief and have reached out to console touches me deeply. Good Night and Thank you.

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's been a bumpy ride today, but it's almost over. I've cried so much today, but feeling somewhat better. I could do without presents, flowers, etc., but oh how I miss his gentle hugs and kisses. I'm lucky to have had such a special relationship, but now the emptiness is more than I could have every imagined. It seems like with my husband I was living life in technicolor and now it's just a faded black and white movie. My husband gave my life meaning and magic. Now I'm on my own with all this loneliness. Such a contrast from before to the here and now. I miss the sound of his footsteps coming up the stairs. I miss his laugh. I miss his dry sense of humor. I miss his long arms wrapped around me. Oh, so many things I miss. How do you get used to doing without those things? Forgive my dark mood...as I said, I will be better tomorrow. Thanks again for responding. I appreciate it so much!

Today is my birthday. My husband passed away Aug. 27 of this year of cancer. I took care of him by myself for eight months. He died in our home...in my arms (tears). It's so hard today without him. I know if he were still alive he would bring me roses and a beautiful card and gift and we would enjoy the day together. We would probably dance to some music (he was a romantic). I miss him so much I feel like I could burst. I know I'm blessed to have had him in my life. We were married for 17-1/2 years, but had know each for many years prior to our marriage. The few friends I have gave me a b'day luncheon last Saturday because they are all leaving for out of town Christmas, so today I am alone and the weather is so bad that I don't want to be out driving. I couldn't even get dressed until this afternoon. Finally, after a dear friend called me, I was able to get dressed and get busy with chores, but it's so lonely without him. Last year at this time I could have never imagined I would be without him on this birthday. I know tomorrow I will be better...but today I feel so sad...all I can do is cry and cry and cry. Thanks for listening...I will be o.k.