JeanneC

Jan Take your time. There is no wrong way or right way to go about this. When I heard a friend of mine's mother decided not to get rid of anything of her husband's, I thought at the time that she was in denial. But now that I am in the same situation, I don't think I can disagree with that decision. I do eventually want to donate all of his clothes, but for now it's a little difficult. You see my husband just died only 3 1/2 weeks ago. I did give away some of his shirts that were still with labels on them to my three brother-in-laws. My husband and I were in the process of rennovating our home and there is quite a bit of supplies, debris - whatever you name it comes with rennovating. I have started to clean out my home so I can get to finishing it. So do what's best for you. Some people feel more comfort in seeing their loved ones belongings. Love and God Bless, Jeanne

Wendy: Thank you for sharing your story of the loss of your husband. I could only imagine that you never get over the loss of your spouse. It has only been a little over 3 weeks and of course it is still very devastating to me. I don't have any children but family and friends call and try to be comforting. But, I know that people have their own lives and problems. So I know that the constant calling won't be forever. I am so happy that I can come here and share my loss and try to heal. It is good that you take it slow and at your own pace. That's what everyone tells me. But I feel so much better when I keep busy. My husband was cremated and yesterday I picked up his ashes. But I have to tell you that a very comforting feeling came over me. You see, when he had his heart attach he spent five months in the hospital and all he wanted was to come home. Also, right after I came home one of the many nurses that took care of him called to see how I was doing. She was my husband's favorite and he was her favorite patient. It was as if my husband put us together as friends. I want to thank you again for your caring support. May god bless you. Love Jeanne

Hi MartyT: Thank you so much for the kind words. I hope that you also healing. It's is so nice to know that there are other people out there that are going through the same thing as I am. When it first happened I thought I was the only one. God Bless you. Jeanne.

Benali: I lost my husband 3 weeks ago. We have been together 20 years. He woke up one morning feeling sick and then pains in his chest. We went to the hospital and that was the beginning of the end for him and me. He recovered but with a damaged heart that was unrepairable and also breathing with a vent. After 5 months in the hospital, he got to the point that it was the best that the hospital could do for him, but there was hope with a heart assist device. It would have been a bridge to a heart transplant. But with hearts that have little capacity, there is always the risk of infections, organ failures, adema (swelling around the heart and other parts of the body). You name it he got it. Just as he was accepted to another hospital for the device, he got a bacterial blood infection which releases toxins throughtout the body and causes sepsis. He never was able to get the device that all the doctors and nurses were sure would have made his heart stronger, breath better and rehab faster and eventually get a heart transplant. I went to the hospital every day for 5 months, while also going to work. Sometimes stayed all night. Most of our families don't live close, I don't have any children, so it was all up to me. I was with him when he passed. I don't know how we can say that dying is peaceful, but for him it was. This is my first time I am on this board, that's why I needed to tell my story. But Benali I do know what you are going through. My husband and I were in the middle of rennovating our home. There is a ton of debris that needs to be cleaned up. Everyone tells me that I should take it slow. But I can't seem to stop from cleaning and throughing things out. Just constantly doing a million things around the house. Taking care of the garden and whatever else needs to be done. I hope your loss with lessen in time. I will pray for you. As I try to hang in there day by day, I hope you try to do the same. God Bless, Jeanne