Guest Vickie Posted March 25, 2006 Report Share Posted March 25, 2006 I am not sure where to start. My daughter died last July. She had leukemia. She was only 33. I miss her so much. I posted on another site for a while and thought I had had enough pain so I decided not to go back to the site anymore. I was tired of reading about all the pain and never feeling any better just angry that so many had to feel this way. I made up my mind that I was over IT...IT still hurts. Right now I just want to hear her voice or see her one more time. Just once more. I thought I would know when the time was near but I didnt and I did not make it to her side. I tried to get there but I was to late. to late. she was gone. Everyone keep telling me that it has been such a short time and it will get better...ok when, tell me when this horrible feeling will ease. Most days I flounder around keeping busy looking ok but I am not ok. Sometimes the hole seems to get bigger, sometimes it seems smaller. I just want to crawl in it and not come out. My family needs me. I have to get passed this. I am working on it, my daughter would tell me not to give in to it, to move on, except it and move on. It is so hard. I have never felt this way before. I never knew anything could hurt so much. I am sorry for the rambling, but the two glasses of wine is probably the cause of that. I know I will make it out of this hole. I have alway been strong I dont know what happened this time. I thought I could handle anything. My daughter would have handled it. I know she is telling me it will be ok. I am sorry if I said anything I should not have here. It is time for me to go lie down a while. I pray God will help me find peace tonight. thank you for letting me find my way here, maybe I will sleep tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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