A Special Thanks

[FUNNYFACE]

Marty.....this is directed to you......several months ago you responded to one of my posts....directly me to seek help through HOV berivement services....I can say that it was some of the best advise that I have received. I have just finished a 6 week session with Joyce "Daughters without Mothers" and I can not express how it has helped me.....it was a safe place to fall....all of us were in the same boat but in different stages of our grieving....when you lose a Mother it is like you have also lost your identity in some ways.....We all cried, laughed, hugged and with Joyce's help we were able to find some peace in our lives.

I have come along way since it started 6 weeks ago....first Mother's Day etc. and I made it through...I survived...one step at a time....that is all we can expect. Tonight was our last session and it was bitter sweet.....we had to say good-bye and leave our safe place but we are all armed with the knowledge that we are not alone and we will make it through..

I know that my Mother is looking down on me and saying...."That a girl....I knew you could do it."

There will still be hard times ahead.....the first anniversary of her death , her birthday, etc. but if I made it this far....I will make it ....

Thanks....Funnyface

[AmyLea]

Funnyface, I know your post was not directed to me, but wanted to share with you how much it touched me. I sooooo identify with you on the loss of identity that we experience when we lose our mothers. I remember two days before my Mom passed, when I first realized she no longer knew who I was. I backed away from her hospital bed as if I'd been slapped. I vividly remember walking over to a mirror that was hung over the sink in her hospital room. It was such a bizare moment. I looked at my face, even touched my face and thought, "Oh my God. My mother doesn't know me. If my mother doesn't know me then who the h@#$ am I?". I wish my local hospice had a "Daughters Without Mothers" group. They only have a generic "Coping With Grief" support group. I'm glad you were able to find a group geared toward your specific need. Hang in there!

[FUNNYFACE]

AmyLea:

Thanks for responding....I am a only child and was the apple of my

Father's eye...he was a foster child so never felt he had a family ...let alone anyone that was really his until I was born...I am telling you this to let you know of the bond that we had....he was damned with Alzheimer's for the last 15 yrs of his life.....it was so horrible watching this self taught brillant man forget everything...towards the end even how to swallow...I am a nurse to boot so to watch this and not be able to do anything about it about drove me crazy....for the last 5 years of his life he didn't know who I was...only that I was some kind of devil person that was trying to take his money, home and wife.... I was willing to be the one he struck out at...better me than my Mother.....I tried my best to take care of both of my parents but Dad got so bad he finally had to go to a safe place where he could be taken care of 24/7...that killed both my Mom and me.....toward the end I couldn't even deal with going to see him...I just couldn't handle it...he died 6 months before my Mother died....at the time I didn't have the time to grieve him because my Mother was diagnosised with breast cancer and I had to deal with that and be the strong one.....so now...when I think that i have things kinda under control with my Mother's death the grief I have not resolved about his death has crept up....I thought that I had all ready grieved for him because I really lost him so long ago.....he was not my Dad anymore...just a shell....but I sure miss him....but he goes on in his grandson....he is just like his Grandpa and I see Dad reflected in my son....I would hope that I am just like my Mother.....she was the kindest person I ever knew....she could always make people laugh...even to the end....

Didn't mean to ramble...guess really needed to get some emotions out tonite..

I wish there was a group like I had for you...I was given a list of books about daughters and mothers and I will try to find it for you and give you the titles....

We are all in this together....this is a wonderful site....and we will all make it through this...I know we will

Funnyface